His Plastic Doll

Chapter Twelve

We couldn't do much in my unit the entire day which was why he was so tempted to lay his hands on me. Hapon na noon at nakapokus ako sa telebisyon nang maramdaman kong pumaloob sa damit ko ang kanyang mga kamay.

Agad akong napasilip sa kanya. Parehas kaming nakahiga sa sofa. Siya ay nasa likuran ko, nakaakap sa akin, ang mga katawan namin ay nasa isang spooning position. We were both fully clothed, especially since I already set my mind that nothing would happen between us today because he's sick. Pero ang mga lalaki talaga, grabe! Bawat minuto ba talaga ng buhay nila, kalibugan ang laman ng kanilang isipan?

"Ryle, baka nakakalimutan mong may sakit ka?"

"Gusto lang naman kitang hawakan sa tiyan, anong malisya roon?"

"Then how will you explain that?" I pushed back my butt to call out his boner that he's persistently humping to me.

"Sus, kunwari nagrereklamo pero gustong-gusto rin naman. Dinidikit mo nga rin sa akin kapag lumalayo ako e."

I had gotten to the point that I was so annoyed na wala akong choice kundi harapin siya.

Napaatras bahagya ang kanyang mukha sa pagkagulat. "Oh, bakit?" pa-depensang sabi niya.

I didn't say anything. I just looked at his eyes and watched him try to figure out what I was currently thinking.

"You're creeping me out," sabi niya. "Bakit nga?"

"Wala. Ang gwapo mo lang pala."

"Pala?" His voice was shocked, offended. "Don't tell me all this time I was undressing in front of you, napapangitan ka sa akin?"

"Hindi ko naman sinabing sa ganoong paraan. I know you're handsome but most of the time I have doubts because maybe I was just carried by the opinion of others. Today is different. It's like it's my first time to see your face up close." Kinapa-kapa ko pa ang kanyang pisngi na kanyang magiliw na tinanggap.

"Didn't know you can express your thoughts this much," he said while playing with some strands of my hair.

"Talkative din naman ako, but only to few."

"I can tell."

"Ikaw ba, what do you think of me?"

"You're cute."

It was uttered so early it felt like he already anticipated it. Medyo sumimangot ako.

"...and weirdly brave and cunning," tuloy niya. "It's like underneath this feminine body lies a strong warrior."

That wasn't something I was expecting to hear, but I kinda liked it, it's my first time being describe as such that I can't help but smile.

"You know, I would have chosen you over her if..."

Hearing one confession from a guy was unusual, two was already considered rare—which was why I had to search his face carefully if I really had heard him right, and the fact that he couldn't face me the next was proof enough that it was real.

"...if I were a girl?"

"If only you would let me."

My mouth hang open. That wasn't close to any possible answers a guy like him would tell me. Does that mean wala siyang pakialam kahit na hindi ako babae? Mali ba ako ng pag-aakalang straight siya?

Or was it just a cheap last-second idea he used to paint himself that way? Na wala siyang issue sa pagiging bakla ko? Maybe he thought I was already close to cutting our ties, that he just wanted us to prolong this sexual relationship we had.

If only you would let me.

Pero hindi e. Iba ang dating ng mga salitang iyon. Parang inaamin niya na gusto naman talaga niya pero hindi lang siya sigurado sa side ko. He might have thought of that because I was always trying to make him think I didn't want to be in a relationship. Katunayan, laking gulat nga niya nang aminin kong never pa akong nagka-boyfriend. That all of the boys that came into my life were just storms.