His Plastic Doll

Chapter Four

"Tatlong araw na tayong paulit-ulit na puro hubad lang," sabi ni Ryle nang napapakamot na sa kanyang buhok. "Hanggang kailan ba natin ito gagawin?"

Nangiwi ako. It sounded like he's doubting whether I really know what I was doing. Ang kapal ng mukha! Para bang ako itong naglagay sa amin sa sitwasyon na ito?

We were standing in the middle of my room, both of us already naked, and just a few meters separating us. Sa inis ko, humakbang ako papalapit sa kanya, to which he responded by taking a few steps back.

"See? Ni hindi ka pa nga ready sa paglapit ko," sabi ko ng may pagturo sa kanyang direksyon.

"E malay ko ba kung anong gagawin mo? Baka kasi susuntukin mo pala ako."

"Ay, wow. Sa akin ka pa talaga natakot ah? Sa liit kong ito?"

"You are cute when it comes to class but scary when we're just alone."

A shadow of a passerby drifted from my window curtains. Nahinto kami saglit na para bang mga kriminal kami na naaktuhang may ginagawang masama, kahit pa tiwala naman akong walang pupwedeng makakita sa amin galing sa labas.

The sun had already set but it was still hot in my room. Beads of sweat kept rolling down my cheeks even though we were only just standing and flailing our hands during our arguments. Kung hindi lang niya binubusog ang mata ko mula sa ganda ng kanyang pangangatawan, baka napalayas ko na siya sa apartment ko gawa ng aking inis.

I pointed my finger at him. "You are lucky, Ryle, I'm already showing to you my real side, because if not, it would definitely be harder than this. I guarantee you."

He scoffed. An arm rested against his hip. "So iyong ugaling ipinapakita mo sa klase, kaplastikan lang lahat ng iyon?"

"Yup."

He stopped. He definitely wasn't expecting me to be that too honest. Feeling ko nga'y unang pagkakataon niyang makakilala ng tulad kong hindi takot umamin ng katotohanan. Sabagay, kilala siya ng lahat at iniidolo, kaya bihira lang ang may lakas ng loob na magsabi sa kanya ng taliwas sa kanyang inaasahan.

"You know, we have different ways of surviving in this harsh reality," sabi ko. "And that was just my way of doing it. I need to look harmless so people would leave me alone." Sinipa-sipa ko ang ilang mga nakabilog na pakete ng chichiryang inubos namin kanina. I hate how I only get to notice my filthy situation everytime I open up to someone.

"So, the way you interact with Inesa, was that also fake?"

I glared at him. How dare he bring up Inesa to this? And how easy for him to mention her name when the reason why we're both naked in front of each other was because of her? Para kay Inesa nga ba talaga iyong totoong dahilan ng lahat ng ito o ginamit lang ba niya iyong excuse para gawin ang kung ano mang ginagawa namin ngayon?

When he fixed his hair and glanced away, I figured he wasn't really expecting any answer from me about his previous question. "Nga pala, ano iyong pinag-uusapan niyo noon ni Inesa, noong minsang nahuli ko kayong magkausap?"

He then walked towards my cabinet and studied each toy displays I have, mga maliliit na pokemon toys, na karamihan ay galing lang sa palibreng laruan ng Jollibee o Mcdo. He was intently avoiding my eye as if to fool me that what he just asked me was nothing.

"Siguro naman naisip mo nang kung sinumbong kita sa kanya, edi nilayuan ka na niya 'no?"

"I am just curious. I am not accusing you."

"Nothing. Kilala mo naman iyon. Kahit mga walang-kwentang bagay, hilig ikwento."

His shoulders relaxed a little. He placed the little Psyduck toy back to its original place and then proceeded to look for any other displays I have—which was none.