2011

November| Chapter 17| Ada

"Ada! Hello? Ada!" My dad was waving his hand in front of me.

"Sorry...I.." I felt like my mind had left my body.

"Honey, how does this make you feel? Speak to us." My mom sat across from me at the table now.

"How....uhm...how long have you known?" Was all I could get out.

"Uhm...not that long....about a year-"

I cut him off. "A year! Oh my god! A year!" I stood up from my seat completely shocked. 

"Ada, I know this is crazy, believe me I was shocked too. I don't want this to ruin the little progress we've made." My dad stood mirroring me.

"I'm sorry I just need a minute." I felt like a zombie as I walked up the stairs.

I closed my bedroom door and locked it. I turned on my stereo blaring whatever cd was in there. I closed the bathroom door and locked it as well. I turned the bathroom fan on to hide any noise. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked like a ghost version of myself. All of the life had escaped my eyes. I fell to my knees and released everything I had consumed that day. The coffee I had for breakfast, the first plate of food....the second plate, dessert, the second dessert. Why did I eat so much? It all came rushing back up just as I had feared. Tears were rushing down my face. I felt nothing though. All of the noise that surrounded me was just silence. I threw up until my stomach was dry almost hurting when I gagged. I fell back against the bathroom cabinet. I was empty. I pulled myself up and brushed my teeth. I threw cold water on my face hoping it would lessen the puffiness from all of the crying. I dried my face and turned the fan off. I then cut the music off and returned downstairs. My parents were waiting for me in the foyer both looking overly concerned. Like overly concerned retired models. Fuck them.

"Ada, sweetie." I hated the sound of my father's voice.

"I'm going to go stay at a friend's house tonight. I just need to be alone." I grabbed my keys off of the entryway table.

"Ada, stay and let's talk about this." My dad pleaded.

"Stay? You want me to stay!!" I was inches from his face screaming now. The anger was back.

"Please, we can work this out!" I could tell he was fighting back tears as his voice cracked.

"You left us! You! And now you just come in here dropping this freaking bomb on us!" 

"I know, I know! I'm so sorry. Your mother and I have-"

"Oh, you've talked about it? I'm sure that went great!! You cheated on her!!!" I yelled. 

"Ada!" My mom tried to intervene.

"Why don't you start a new family with your new daughter! Maybe she'll get the dad that doesn't leave!!" My voice ripped through my throat.

"I'm still your father Ada! Please just give me a chance to be, give me a chance to make it up to you!" He reached out to embrace me.

I slammed my fist onto his chest. I was sure this caused me more pain than it did him, his chest like a solid wall. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER AND YOU NEVER WILL BE!! MY FATHER DIED THE DAY HE LEFT ON MY BIRTHDAY!! REMEMBER THAT? MY BIRTHDAY!! YOU'RE A SAD EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!"

My throat was raw at this point and I struggled to catch my breath. My dad stood in front of me in complete shock. His world had been ripped away from him now. With that I slammed the front door stomping my way to the car. I was so freaking furious. I had no idea where I was going. I couldn't even think straight! I sat in my car gripping the steering wheel my knuckles turning white as the time passed.