2011

December| Chapter 23| Ada

Guys it wasn't a dream! What the fuck! I fucking begged for David to get in bed with me! What the fuck! It's like I had a death wish for myself. Those sleeping pills weakened my senses and gave him full access to destroy me all over again. Reminding my body of his touch, his eyes, his curls, the flex of the muscles in his arms as they pulled me closer to him. Fuck those pills man! If I took one again, I just couldn't do it around David. Who was I kidding, I needed that whole fucking bottle! Get me out of this cabin!

I asked Delilah to go shopping with me today in hopes of a distraction from David. The thing with Delilah is she talks so fucking much. So yeah, I got a distraction from David, but damn I couldn't process anything. Delilah's lips moved a mile a minute. She was always like this growing up though. A ray of energy that would exhaust anyone who stood too close for too long. It was nice when you needed it, but when you felt like shit, like I do right now. It made you want to take a flying leap.

"Hellooooo Ada!" She waved in front of my face.

"What?" I blinked coming back to reality.

"Skiing tomorrow. Did you want to come with me?" She sifted through a rack of clothes. 

"Oh, uhm no. Delilah you know I hate skiing!"

"Ada, you've only done it like once!"

"Yeah and I hated it! Besides I want to go ice skating." I swear Delilah and I had this fight every time our family vacationed somewhere cold.

"Well you already know how I feel about ice skating." Delilah grabbed a shirt from the rack twisting it and inspecting the small floral details.

"Delilah no one is going to cut you with their skate." I huffed.

"It could happen Ada, don't even get me started!"

"Well let's just do a solo day tomorrow, we have the whole week ya know?" I reminded her.

"Well, okay."

Delilah and I shopped for the rest of the day. We returned to the cabin that night just in time for dinner. I was exhausted by then partially from speed walking from store to store but partially because even now everything I consumed came right back up. When we walked into the cabin, we were hit with a cloud of something savory. It was coming from the kitchen! I let my nose take the lead and floated into the kitchen.

"What is all of this?" Delilah beamed.

"Dinner! I wanted to make something special for everyone." My mom was moving from pan to pan. She was the best cook I knew.

"Mom, this looks awesome!" I exclaimed knowing deep down I wouldn't be able to eat a single bit of it. "What all did you make?"

"Well I'm sautéing some asparagus and brussel sprouts. I've got sweet potatoes and onions baking. Terrance is outside grilling us some steaks, snow and all!" She exclaimed. "And I've put some fruits and cheeses on a tray over there if you can't wait until dinner Delilah." My mom didn't even mention my name, knowing good and well cheese wasn't even an option for me. If I ate fruits, it had to be first thing in the morning so that my body could burn off the sugars during the day.

"Jane, this is amazing! Thank you so much!" Delilah went straight for the cheese.

"And Ada, I've prepped you a salad with some veggies for your dinner." She smiled, she really thought she was helping me.

"I'm going to go put my bags away, but is there anything I can do to help?" I offered ignoring her previous statement.

"Nope, we've got it all under control. You girls just relax, and we'll let you know when it's ready." My mom's attention went back to the different pans. She was always so meticulous, but that's what made her cooking so good.