2011

December| Chapter 22| David

I laid in Ada's bed that night with her curled up to me. I held onto her so tight knowing that when she woke it would be over. It would be back to the broken girl with the sad eyes. The girl that I had destroyed. I breathed in her lavender scent praying that I would never forget it. I traced lines across her soft face and her light pink lips. I wish I could kiss her again. Why did I fuck this up?

Ada drove me crazy! Sure, before her I had lost my temper every now and again. But something about this girl made my blood boil and my heart sink at the same time. It's like I couldn't control anything. I fell for her so fast, so fucking fast! One moment I was throwing ice water on her in the shower (something I did almost every time she stayed at our house) then the next moment I was making love to her. Hell, I lost my fucking virginity to her, and I admitted it!

The day my mom found us I felt like I was losing her. Everything happened all at once. I felt like one way or the other I was losing her. Whether my parents threatened us, or Ada left on her own I felt like she was slipping away from me. When I returned home from the hospital after getting my stitches replaced, I was fucked up on whatever shit my mom convinced them to give to me. I just lost it, I lost it when I saw Delilah. But I really lost it when I saw this guy, a guy who seemed nice, a guy who could replace me! I didn't really think she cheated on me I don't even know why I said that. I guess I only knew how to go for the neck.

The morning we were leaving for our trip I stayed in my room as long as I possibly could trying to avoid seeing her. I had pretty much spent the last three weeks either high as a kite or shit faced. Doing anything, taking anything, drinking anything to forget her. Forget the way I felt with her, the way she felt, the way she looked with her dark brown eyes and long black hair.

I watched through the window as her and her mom pulled into our driveway. I watched them unload their bags. Ada looked terrible, well she looked beautiful, but she looked...hurt. My stomach twisted in knots knowing that I had contributed to this. When I saw her from the garage, I decided that I would distract myself with my phone. I wasn't ready to look in her eyes yet. I stood there while everyone said whatever the fuck they said and scrolled through old photos of Ada and me. I was killing myself.

What had I done to this girl? I really had done just how my mom predicted. Was I really my father? Shit, I didn't want to be like him. I want to be the man that Ada deserves. I want to be the man she wants. But I was probably doing everything to push her into the arms of someone else. She had so much fire in her. Everything I said came out wrong and she always knew how to give it back to me twice as worse. Was she sent to me to give me a taste of my own medicine? Her words stung just as badly as the fire I spit to hurt her. But I loved her so much, I still love her. I still think about our life together. She would never marry me now. Not after all of the horrible shit I said to her.

I think Ada had slipped another sleeping pill at the restaurant because when we arrived at the cabin she was out like a light. It had taken us much longer to arrive what with our ten bathroom stops and the God-awful traffic we sat in. By the time we arrived everyone just went to bed. I carried Ada up to her room. She was so sweet when she wrapped her arms around me. My name softly escaped her lips. Even in this haze she knew it was me and this sent hope through my body!

When I tucked her into her bed, she looked so peaceful. Her face was no longer scrunched up in anger towards me. She pulled the covers up to her and let out the sweetest sigh. I couldn't help but to touch her, I brushed the hair out of her face just like I used to. Of course, being Ada, she smacked my hand away. But she opened her eyes, she looked at me, she cried for me to stay. I did because I didn't want to fight this! I wanted to take as much as she would give me.

When I woke up the next morning Ada was still fast asleep in my arms, thank you God. I held onto her so tightly hoping she would sleep all day. Or if she did wake up maybe her memory would be wiped clean of all the horrible shit I said. Ada, please don't leave me. She started to move around, and her eyes fluttered open. She looked so confused. The anger started to flood her eyes.