Vulnerable

Chapter 35

My eyes were wide as I heard the news, I felt nauseous.

'Megan, did you hear me?' The doctor repeated. I nodded, gulping. It had been two weeks since my emergency surgery, Christmas was less than a week away. My lungs were much more stable now, but I was doing daily exercises to build up their strength.

'How long?' I whispered. 'You did tests before and you didn't...'

'You're roughly around 12 weeks pregnant, Megan.' He said. 'It was too early to detect when you first arrived in November. We didn't do any tests since then.'

Pregnant. My whole body trembled at the thought. I was only a few months shy of 17. I was still a child myself. I couldn't do this.

Logan. At least it was his, not Cole or Benji's. Would he be angry with me? None of us thought that kids were going to be in the picture for a long time. It was my fault. I forgot to take the morning after pill because Benji showed up. How could I have been so reckless?

'Megan, you need to know, this is a high risk pregnancy. I've referred you for an ultrasound this afternoon, but because of your age, the condition of your lungs and the trauma you've experienced... there could be complications.'

'Like what?' I whispered.

'The foetus could be under developed or unhealthy because you were in a coma, and because of your lung capacity. Look, I won't put anything into your mind until we know for sure, okay. You just need to be prepared for the risks.'

'Are you going to tell my dad?' I whispered, feeling ashamed. What would he say?

'You're still a minor, so your father is responsible for your care, however it's your choice whether you tell him.'

'I need to figure out what I'm going to do first.' I mumbled.

'Okay, well your appointment is at 2pm. I'll come and get you then, and disguise it is a check up if your dad is here, okay?' The doctor smiled.

'Okay.' I nodded, reaching for my phone and asking Logan to visit as soon as he could. He replied instantly saying he was on his way.

Dad had gone back to work, after I insisted, and he visited every lunch time and after work. Logan visited everyday too, except for one day every weekend when he was visiting his mum at the rehab facility.

We had been awkward ever since I woke up. I didn't blame him for choosing his mum, but it was still hard to accept that he left me with them, and that he didn't even try to help me. My dad made his opinion about Logan very clear, and part of me felt the same sense of betrayal, but I knew why he did it.

'Megan? What's wrong?' Logan said, as he walked into my hospital room, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed.

I looked up at him, tears springing to my eyes. Logan cupped my cheek, looking at me expectantly with his brown eyes.

'I'm pregnant.' I whispered. Logan's eyes widened, his eyes flicking down to my stomach. '12 weeks. It's yours.'

'Thank fuck.' Logan muttered under his breath, relieved it wasn't Cole or Benji's. 'What... how?'

'I'm sorry.' I cried. 'It was an accident. I forgot to take the morning after pill, everything with Benji... I forgot.'

'Shh.' Logan soothed, pulling me into a hug, though his body was tense. 'It's okay.'

'I can't do it, Logan.' I sobbed. 'I can't.'

'You want an abortion?' Logan asked, his voice quiet and unreadable.

'I don't know Logan. Please don't hate me.' My tears were soaking his shirt.

'I don't hate you baby.' Logan soothed. 'I could never hate you. We just... we need to figure this out okay?'

'I have an appointment at 2pm. Will you come with me?'

'Of course.' Logan said. I still couldn't read his tone.

'What... what do you want to do?' I asked quietly, hiding my face in his shoulder.

'It doesn't matter what I want, love. It's your body, your choice.'

'It's yours too.' I shook my head. 'You have a say.'

'I'm by your side. Regardless, okay? I want kids, one day. But it doesn't need to be now, if you're not ready for that. I'm here if you want to keep it and I'm here if you don't.'

'I'm not ready to be a mother...' I cried. 'I'm too broken.'

'You're not broken, Megan. You're strong. But if you don't want to do this, you don't have to.'

'I don't want to Logan. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.' I cried as his arms tightened around me.

'There's nothing to forgive, love. I forgot to use protection, it's my fault too.' Logan said. 'We're gonna be okay, Megan.'

As we sat waiting for the nurse to finish preparing the ultrasound, Logan held my hand.

'So Megan, Dr Ramirez filled me in on your history. I'm just going to do a scan to see how everything is going and then we can discuss your options, okay?' She said, silently asking permission to roll up my shirt. I nodded as she squirted a cold goo on my stomach and started moving it around with a scanner.

'Is that it?' Logan said looking at the screen with a blank look on his face, but even I could see the amazement in his eyes. He wanted this baby, even if he said he didn't mind what happened.

'Yep, right here.' She said pointing to a blob on the screen. 'Okay so, the foetus is looking a little small for it's gestational age.' She sighed before inspecting the ultrasound more closely, her face was a picture of concern, then her face paled. 'I'm going to get a colleague to consult on something.'

'Something's wrong.' I murmured. Logan gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

'Not necessarily.' Logan said. His eyes glued to the picture on the screen.

'You want this baby, don't you?' I whispered, sitting up and looking at him. 'Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth.'

'Meg, I didn't know it existed until an hour ago.' Logan said, shaking his head. 'I haven't had time to even process...'

'Seeing it up on the screen like that...' I whispered, staring at the video on loop, seeing the little bean wriggling inside me. 'It's overwhelming.'

'We made that.' Logan said, his voice quiet. He was in awe.

'You want to keep it.' I stated rather than asked. 'Logan, I don't know if I can do it.'

'You don't have to Megan. This is your choice.' Logan sighed. 'It doesn't matter what I want.'

'Promise you won't leave? I need you by my side Logan. If I keep it... I can't do this alone.'

'I'm here every step of the way. No matter what.' He said as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a sudden kiss. Our first kiss in over a month, and sparks were flying. Having a family with Logan was something I could get used to.