Vulnerable

Chapter 33

Logan's POV

My heart was aching as I read her words, but I knew I needed to keep going. Megan was lying lifeless on a hospital bed, and I needed to help her.

Saturday, October 20th.

Logan won't talk to me. It's not his fault, I would do the same in his position. Benji has made me numb. Whenever I'm with Logan, I desperately want to hug and kiss him, but Benji is always there, haunting me, reminding me what's at stake. So instead I don't say a word. He came round today, to give me one last chance to be honest with him. When I said nothing he left and hasn't returned any of my texts.

Lisa and Frankie are mad at me too. They told me that they understood I was going through shit because Benji's back in town and its natural for me to be paranoid. But after while they got annoyed with me because I was shutting them out for no reason. As far as they know Benji hasn't even made contact, so I'm just being 'overly paranoid' and it's 'making me selfish'. I wish I could tell the truth.

College without them was absolute hell. Its still Term 1 and I can already tell I am going to fail my exams. I just wish I could drop out. But that would be too suspicious.

If you're reading this, I'm sorry. I don't deserve your friendship. I've treated you all like crap. I hope you can forgive me.

Megan

~~~~

Wednesday, October 24th.

Benji is planning something. He keeps talking about his plans to 'make you mine' and keeps saying how he won't ever lose me again. He keeps promising to get me back for sending him to prison - as if his torment isn't punishment enough.

I slept in my dad's room last night, trying to escape Benji, I claimed it was because I was having nightmares and didn't want to be alone. In a sense I guess it's technically true: I'm living in a nightmare. I woke up to Benji holding a knife to my dad's throat, so when he told me to go to my room and strip, I did exactly as he said.

He spent hours making me pose for his camera, different positions, some innocent and others completely exposing. He made me touch myself and took pictures of me as I orgasmed. He tied me up, he bent me over, he spanked me. And he photographed it all.

If I cried, he would slap me and bite my nipples so hard it drew blood. If I objected, he threatened to slit my dad's throat and kidnap me. He took enough photos to fill dozens of 'sexy' calendars.

Knowing he has those pictures terrifies me. Not only those but the ones from when I was a kid. What is he doing with them?

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I just want it to end.

Megan.

'Logan?' My mum's voice made me jolt, swivelling round to look at her. 'Why are you crying, baby?' Her voice was soft. It was almost like she was herself again.

'Mum.' I cried, as she pulled me in a hug. 'My girlfriend. She tried to kill herself. I didn't help her.'

'Oh baby.' My mum said, her voice tired. 'It's okay.'

'No it's not mum.' I shook my head. 'She went through hell for me, for you. I wasn't there for her. I ignored her.'

'For me?' My mum frowned. 'What are you talking about?'

'Cole. He's a rapist mum.' I shook my head. I'd told her before but she was too high to take in a word I said.

'Don't be ridiculous, your step father would never.' My mum said in disbelief.

'He raped Megan when she was 8 years old and he did it again 3 days ago.' I whispered, desperately hoping for her to believe me. 'Cole and Megan's uncle are rapists. They've been threatening her to do what they want.'

'I'm so sorry Logan.' She sighed. 'What's this got to do with me though?'

'Cole was going to kill you if she didn't do as they said. He poisoned you mum. Three days ago. He poisoned you and made me get Megan alone for them so I could get you the medicine.'

'You're serious?' My mum sat there in disbelief. I could see the cogs running through her head, her guard was down and I knew this could be my chance to get her to go to rehab.

'Mum, you're not safe.' I said, calmly. 'With Cole, and the drugs... I can't lose you mum. If you die... I'll be alone mum.'

She looked up at me, her eyes conflicted, she knew what was coming. 'Logan...'

'Go to rehab mum. Please. Megan went through hell to save you from Cole, I can't lose you to addiction.'

'It never works.' My mum shook her head. 'There's no point Logan.'

'Please? For me, mum.' I pleaded. 'You were destroyed when dad died. I was too. I can't lose you too.'

'You won't. I know what I'm doing.'

'You overdosed a few months ago. Please mum, Megan is fighting for her life right now. I need to know I can rely on you mum. I need you know you're okay.'

'Logan...' she sighed. My eyes pleaded, desperately staring into hers. 'Okay.'

'Thank you.' I cried pulling her into a hug.

'I'll check in tomorrow, okay? You need some sleep, baby boy.'

For the first time in years, I slept beside my mother, feeling safe in her arms.