Titi Iku: Until Death (Sequel To Irikuri)

26-Until Rage

The entire holiday break was spent in the safe house with Ade and I's family. Ade had safely severed ties with the worst, most powerful corporations affiliated with Xcel, soon to be known as NK Inc. He had saved the most dangerous companies for last. NK had to pay them handsomely for the separation, which is part of why they seemed not to be too hasty to hurt him. We had expected at least one incident at the safe house,but the holidays had passed smoothly. My family even warmed up to the idea of Ade and I's marriage although I still had to pretend we didn't sleep in the same room. Somewhere between baking cookies with my little siblings and him and my father whooping everyone's ass as a team on game night, everyone grew to love him. My father even offered me an apology of sorts...that wasn't really an apology...but nevertheless we actually had a happy holiday. Truly, despite our situation, we were happy. That holiday made me realize that Ade was genuinely the only one that could make me that happy. I fully realized I would rather risk my life standing by his side than be safe besides someone else. I was sprung, I'll admit it, in only eight months.

Soon after, my second semester of school began and we returned to the city with increased security. I didn't go anywhere without security tailing me and some type of weapon on my person. Besides the threats that loomed over my husband and I, I was enjoying myself. My classes that semester really interested me, there was only one downside. Miguel was also a poli sci major, and for some cursed reason, our schedules were almost identical. He was almost everywhere I was at no fault of his own because we had the same classes and clubs. Even though I was trying to distance myself from him, I soon realized we were the only black people in the room half of the time, so I found myself kind of forced into solidarity with him whether I liked it or not. I even tried to force myself on other people, but then the white girl next to me started rambling about the flawlessness of the American Justice system (as flawed and racist as it is) and I had to stop myself from breaking my pencil. Miguel was also one of the only people in my new classes that knew me before my marriage to Ade was announced, so in a way my insecurities about being perceived purely as a trophy wife drew me to him. Honestly, looking back on it, my track record even just from highschool preceded me. No one in their right mind could truly say I was unqualified to be where I was. Yet still, I continued to fight the ongoing battle of self hatred with myself. Insecurity whispered in my ear constantly; It took no days off regardless of how happy I was.

So, in a culmination of equal parts carelessness, boredom, and insecurity, I befriended Miguel, one of the only people who knew me before I was just "Ade Eesuola's wife". I actually grew to somewhat like him. He was far from dumb and helped me with assignments from time to time. He also had a fair sense of humor, and we both spoke Spanish so it was nice to say things other people couldn't understand every once in a while. If not for the fact that I hated the idea of 'sloppy seconds' and his lame ass kept hitting on me, I might have even set him up with Lola since they reminded me of each other. We ended up spending even more time together when we were assigned to be partners working for our political analysis class. That class was possibly the most irritating course I have ever taken. The work never stopped and it led to countless late nights in the library, the majority of them with Miguel. A part of me was scared that Ade would be upset, but I soon realized he simply wasn't a jealous person. No matter how late at night I was forced to stay for one assignment or another, Ade never truly questioned me or took issue with it besides for safety purposes. Despite that, I still despised spending too much time with Miguel because of what it might suggest to him. I tried to brush my concerns away, but one night in January when we were working especially late, he made that impossible. He had insisted on walking me to my door which I found odd considering the fact that my security was tailing me, but I finally understood why when he took my hand in his.

"Nani-" he started, but my hand was already out of his grip as I looked at him uncomfortably before glancing at my doorbell. It was the newest NK technology as was everything else in our apartment, and it showed a small red ring around our peephole to indicate that someone inside the house was tuned in to the video camera outside the door. The technology notified both Ade and I whenever there was motion outside our door and lit up when we decided to tune in, which meant Ade was seeing everything going on right now. My eyes glazed over with panic but I quickly forgot all about Ade when Miguel's fingers gripped my chin.