Formidable Devotion

XXV

NATHANIEL WILBUR'S POV

Her frail worn out body laid there next to me. I looked at her as she slept peacefully in the comfort of our home. My mind took us back to our parents house in New Orleans. Back in that small bedroom of mine, and Gwen would lay beside me this way. Naked and bare. And I'd watch her sleep like always.

I would hold her closer and closer, just like now. The only difference is that , back then, I wouldn't dare make love to her. But now, it's all I've been doing ever since our first night, which was weeks ago.

I have found another home inside her. And I won't lie, it's the best there ever was and ever will be.

Being this intimate with Gwen is like, I don't know, a spell or something. I'm not sure why, but it's the most addicting thing there is. And the way she'd cry, moan, scream, cling to me so tightly as I thrusted into her, the way she'd whisper 'I love you' continuously....,..

Hers is truly the sweetest sound.

But when she'd take full control....that's when all sense leaves my brain. I can't even think of her on top of me without getting hard.

"Nathan....." She calls for me in her sleep.

"Yes love."

"I'm thirsty." She whines.

I kiss her forehead, "I'll get you water. Or do you prefer milk?"

She tried opening her lidded eyes but couldn't, "Water is fine."

I escorted myself to the kitchen and took a glass of cold water.

When I got back to our room, Gwen was sited on the bed waiting. "Thank you." She said politely and drank from my hand. I didn't want her to hold the glass, her hands are too jelly to grip tight.

"You couldn't get any sleep again." She pointed out.  "You barely get any rest, I know you hate this subject but may be you can try sleeping pills."

I couldn't even frown at her. I dont like it when she brings that topic up. But she is looking at me with those eyes and I just stare at them like some helpless fool.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." I assured. "Go back to sleep. We got finals tomorrow."

She held my face with her delicate hands and locked eyes with me, "I'm sorry for everything, especially yesterday."

"You can't keep apologizing for things you repeat doing."

Her face dropped, eyes down casted.

It seems to me that for everytime she does something and it passes, there's another cooking.

"But I never stood you up before on a date. I'm sorry for atleast this first."

This is bigger than that.

"Our anniversary Gwen?! It wasn't just any date."

Her voice was dry, as though about to cry."I didn't mean to do that to you Nathan, believe me. If only you'd let me explain what happened."

"There isn't a point now, the day is gone and whatever you say won't change anything." I reminded. "Please get back to sleep. I don't want to talk about yesterday or any other day."

Gwen sighed.

"I love you." She said.

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.
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"I know."

☞

After our finals, we left Rhode island and returned  to New Orleans, to our house. Malcolm was also done with his year and as usual, we spent most of our holiday together.

We took a road trip across the states.

Something we've been booking on our bucket list.

This time, I and Gwen rarely got into fights. She was more behaved and I'm thinking its Malcom's influence or perhaps her way of not causing anymore trouble in contrast to our last trip in Tokyo. I wasn't sure which was which. She acted different around Malcom. In comparison to when she is with me. Around me Gwen does not hide any of her colours. She can be cold and then hot....... and then she's back to being the love of my life before she becomes the only reason I can't sleep at night. The reason I find myself crying at an empty dinning table because she missed our anniversary or genuinely hurt because she bailed on our plans as always.

But with Malcom, She's more watchful of her drinking, her tone, her actions in general.

I can't wrap my hands around why this is so.

I concluded she didn't want to create a terrible picture of herself infront of someone close to us as Malcom.  And I'm her boyfriend, of course she'd act differently around me than with anyone else.

I don't know.

The more time passes, the less I can decipher Gwen's motives. Sometimes, it's like I'm living with a stranger. And other times, it's like I know her so well.

But I have faith in her love for me. And that's among the many reasons I'm still here.

_________

Any thoughts?

-lynn.