Formidable Devotion

IV

May be we're just monsters in the making...

NATHANIEL WILBUR'S POV

There's this large curtain in the library and we figured it would be a great place to hide as we wait for Enzo to have his feast. Doctor Ray gave me ham and red bull this afternoon for energy. My leg wasn't completely recovered though the P.O.P was taken off. My heart is beating harder than I can physically withstand, it actually aches. I stole a surgical blade from the nursing room for incase I'm about to go down early during the assault. So I'll have to do what I must. Before Enzo even touches Gwen, I shall be a murderer tonight. It's taken long enough but soon I will be my parents child not only by name but also by acts.

Gwen held her inhaler in hand tightly. I can see her eyes being illuminated by the ray of moonlight that penetrates the closed glass window. The curtain is Infront and above us. Those grey eyes are carrying rage as they gaze outside. She was angry.

"You'll crush that inhaler if you keep holding it that way." Her fists clenched it extremely tight. "Put it inside your trouser pockets." I told her but Gwen doesn't. Instead, she shifted her cold gaze to my eyes. "Why are we so unlucky? Can you tell me why?" Her lips were dry but her voice filled with bitterness as she asked.

"I don't know why...."

Gwen bit down on her lip. "How does the world pick it's next victims? How does it choose who gets the misfortunes and who doesn't? Is their an algorithm? Some kind of indication that certain people should have it worse? It wasn't enough that we are basically orphans but then we had to be imprisoned, used as punching bags for no damn reason at all, left to starve, to be hunted in our dreams, to have nothing. What's next?" She asked me questions that I had no answers to.

When you feel the same suffocating emotions for years, all that misery turns to anger. I've been praying that Gwen doesn't go down that road. Fucking things up is my specialty not hers.

"What's next is -We get out of here. Earn a living, spend the rest of our days in harmony . We aren't going through this hell forever." I said to her.

"Just because we are hurting now doesn't mean that one day we are guaranteed victory. We could die." Gwen was talking words that triggered my stress levels. Whenever she gets this way....sad and empty, there is not a single nurturing thought in her head. It's poison after poison after poison. And I have to listen to it because sometimes, I also spit my own poisons when I'm in the low. Probably even worse than Gwen.

Thirty eight.

Thirty nine.

Forty.

I counted in my mind.

Gwen was using her fingers to keep track of time. Enzo will be home in less than twenty minutes. His drive from the airport usually takes about forty five because of the usual traffic on nine o'clock. As soon as he gets home, then it's our life in his hands. It has always been like this. For eight years now. The same routine. At around nine o'clock, Enzo arrives in New Orleans from San Diego, drives from the airport and it takes about forty five minutes to get home. It takes about five minutes for him to reach us and do his worst. And we have about ten seconds to pray if we hide.

"We will die someday, but not tonight and not soon." I assured her. "The world has been terrible to us but it gave me.....you. And you got me."

And I be damned if ever something or someone tries to take her away from me. I won't let that happen. I can shot my guns for her if I had any. Nothing will ever set us apart. I'm capable of alot of things if Gwen is involved.

"You wanna know something....?" I held her clenched fist.

"Tell me."

"I'm looking back and I should have fucked you three days ago in that bathroom." I said with a smirk.