Formidable Devotion

XXII

NATHANIEL WILBUR'S POV

"It's starting to make sense to me, why you hate swimming and would only jump into the pool or waves if Gwen did it. And you'd always wear a t-shirt." Malcolm commented while exercising at his father's gym, it has taken him longer than expected to figure this out .

I was willingly shirtless for the first time in somebody's presence aside from Gwen and this won't ever be happening again.

I figured if I'm telling Malcolm more about myself  then he should see this side of me too. "I wouldn't want people to stare at my scars either but if you ask me, they make you look tougher, it's kinda cool." He continued.

If anybody said that sentence other than Malcom or Gwen or a woman, I'd punch them on the face.

"Evidence of my childhood trauma isn't cool."

He looked me straight in the eye, "Trust me, I know."

I and Malcolm have talked alot about our lives over time. It wasn't easy for him either, growing up he has always been a gifted child but the weight of people's expectations have governed his entire life. He often wonders what type of life he would've lead if he made all the choices .

I guess we've both been living in different kinds of cages.  

I no longer feel as vulnerable as I did the first time we had these types of conversations. It's as though talking to my brother, we've gotten that close. But summer is coming to an end and who knows when we'll met again after  leaving for college.

I wouldn't admit it to his face but I'll miss him when this is over. I've only ever had Gwen and it is nice having an extra person to confide in. This is a lonely world, especially for her . As a woman, she deserved so much love and affection and not the humiliation and abuse she went through. Abandoned at such an early age by her mother and to be raised by people she didn't even know.

After hours in the gym, we cleaned up and reunited with Gwen who was reading a Novel by the pool deck. "You boys are done?"

"We're all yours for the rest of the day." I gave her a kiss on the cheek, lifting her from the seat and taking her place, then I sat her on my lap.

"I was thinking about taking out the grill, let's have a barbeque." Malcom suggested.

"Good idea, I've been craving a good steak." Gwen admits.

The evening went by fast and soon enough- I and Gwen were back at our house. We chilled at the balcony over looking the moon, sited side by side. "Brown University....." She said.

"Yeah, Brown University." I replied.

"Will we make it out alive Nathan?" It's a metaphorical question.

"We probably will."

She looked at me, "It's crowded and we are obligated to make friendships, communicate, associate, mingle...."

Be human.

"It's alright. We shall make it work,  learning life skills at a time and then going with the flow. We don't have to fit in directly." I assured.

"We know nothing about people Nathan." Her voice was low but I could hear it clearly.

"That's not entirely true. We've read enough books on human nature to survive with them and adapt." I encouraged.

"And from what we've been reading  people are calculated, they change and are extremely vigorous. They say things they don't actually mean and hang out with people they don't necessarily like. You can't tell when they're being sincere or deceitful. And younger people are even more difficult to understand."