Veronica is just a regular girl. A girl with big dreams for a perfect future. A girl who craved finding true love and not just the idea of it. A girl with friends who were family to her. A girl who had nothing special to tell you about her life, unt...
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Three freaking days. It's been three days since I last saw Tyler.
Most of my calls had gone unanswered. And when he sometimes did take my calls, he always got off in a rush. I had stopped texting or calling after a day, because it felt like I was being a burden on him.
My car was still parked at the hospital and my keys were with him until a day ago. But Avi told me that he had somehow handed it over to Neil and had asked him to give to me.
He was clearly avoiding me and I couldn't take it.
I went to school in hopes to see him there, but he didn't show up. Yesterday, I got up super early and dragged myself out of bed and got to school in time for the daily football practice, hoping that he would show up. But of course, I didn't see him anywhere and my heart sank.
I tried contacting his friends but none of them had heard much from him and I was slowly losing my mind. This was so unlike him, something about all of this was needling my mind and I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
Yesterday, was the day his mom was supposed to have another surgery, so as soon as I had gotten up, I had tried calling him one more time but he had his cellphone switched off. Going to the hospital when he was so clearly avoiding me felt stupid, even though I knew Julian would like having me there.
So I had given up completely. I was tired of waiting for a call that would never come.
I got up from my bed and walked over to the full length mirror in the corner of the room and studied my reflection. There were dark circles beneath my eyes. My hair was a disaster. What was once a neat bun was now a dark brown nest for woodland creatures.
I was wearing a pair of cotton shorts and Tyler's hoodie. I've been wearing it everyday before I go to sleep. At first I had kicked it away and tucked it into the furthest corner of my closet hoping it would magically disappear. But after a while, I gave in...and put it on.
With every minute that went by, I felt him slipping away from me. I knew that I was partially to be blamed in this. I knew he was dealing with his own shit, and I kept bringing more troubles into his life. All the things I did, every time I let my temper take control, only made things more difficult for him.
But how could he ignore me like this? How could he expect me to let him go? How could he let me go? How was it so easy?
I knew he said that he needed some space to figure things out, but I didn't want him to need space! I wanted him to trust me with anything...I wanted him to hold on to me when things got rough.
Maybe I did a shitty job at showing how I feel about him. Expressing my feelings, comforting people who were sad– those weren't the strongest weapons in my social arsenal. No wonder, he was pushing me away.
But I was trying, and he should have known that by now. I would do anything for him.
It took me a lot of effort to pull myself together, but I did. Day 4, and I was ready to go out and face the world again. I was ready to pretend, because that was the only thing that kept me standing.
