Formidable Devotion

XXIV

Listen to "cinnamon" by Lana del Rey

{Mature content 18+}

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NATHANIEL WILBUR'S POV

Our vacation days end as quickly as they start. We are back in Rhode island, continuing with college.

We keep all our memories in picture frames and photo albums. We decorate our walls with our experiences and watch the moments sip away like a bottle of wine, weeks turn to months.

Somehow the life I have built with Gwen that is standing on rocky mountains is being threatened by hurricanes. And it hasn't even been a year.

Gwen is getting worse over time, her heartbreak and insecurities are taking a hold of her senses. She isn't able to see what I see in her anymore. She longs for things that nobody can give her because her time has passed.

I want to be her stronghold, her centerfold, but her heart isn't seeking my shelter anymore.

I'm simply not enough, and she made that clear.

Gwen needs to get professional help, go to therapy , but we fight more and more often whenever I bring therapy up . She insists on changing at her own pace and I'm against that. Because Gwen is unstable and she knows it, I know it too.

I always follow behind her and watch over her. I've hired a body guard that she doesn't know of- to keep an eye on her when I can't.

I feel like we are falling apart.

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Gwen arrived late, midnight, coming back from her evening study time. She finds me laying on bed with the main lights off but the table lamps still on, waiting for her. She doesn't say anything to me, I ignore the aching on my chest as she doesn't acknowledge me. She goes to take a quick shower, wears her night gown and comes to bed.

I noticed something on her skin, and I immediately sit up straight. I felt my own porcelain pale instantly at the sight. My blood running cold.

"What is that on your neck?" My voice almost shakes from the rage I felt inside me, but the hurt was even worse.

She stared at me, her eyes void of any emotion. " What do you mean?"

"Don't act stupid Gwen, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not going to allow you to keep play these games with me."

She covered the hickey, "Oh this! Please relax. I was a bit drunk yesterday night but nothing happened other than this."

What??!!!!!

She said it so simply, so matter of fact....like it didn't mean anything that she was confessing to something as serious as this. Only god knows how much I wanted to break something.

I ignored the painful aching with in my chest as I bring her body towards mine , "You're grasp is too tight," She complained as I brought her closer to me with my hands on her waist. "You want to pin me down again , check to see if anybody got inside me? You can't keep doing this."

I proceeded to hold her down strongly on the bed ,making sure she doesn't move a muscle by pressing my arm on her belly.

"Nathan, YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS!" She repeated, trying to get free.