Formidable Devotion

XXII

It almost feels like we're aliens trying to understand a foreign planet as we plan our invasion.

" The way you learned to live with me is the same way you'll learn to live with them. Look at how good we've been together. That calls for something. Let's give each other some credit."

She sighed. "I don't want to be odd, and strange, and unusual in this world."

"We are those things already. And it's fine. The right people will appreciate us for who we are. We are not going to force our way into society. It's either society accepts us freely and  willingly or we aren't going to bother."

    ๑☞ᴥ☞๑

The summer slowly slipped away into a moment in time and we said goodbye to our friend Malcom. We spent an entire night together, the three of us , before he left for college the next morning. We promised to visit each other on breaks, and I'm not sure it will happen but I can bet we will try to make it work.

Gwen cried.

I tried not too.

A few weeks remain until we too leave for Brown. Gwen's anxiety  has gotten the best of my girl.

Her sleeping pills doses have increased from one to two a night. I'm hoping once she gets to the university and sees that there is nothing to be anxious about then she'll stop drinking two glasses of wine every night before she goes to bed.

Atleast she gets  sleep at night, that's what matters to me. I've been tossing and turning repeatedly like I've done for years, one of us needs a break. Someday this restlessness will end, soon I won't have to stay awake until 3AM staring at walls. I don't need those sleeping pills to find peace. She doesn't need them either but there's just boundaries that I can't forcefully cross, especially now when she's this vulnerable.

One thing I'm sure off, is that ten years from now I'll still be with Gwen probably in a large city somewhere, making plans and living them, as long as we have each other then it won't matter how many sleepless nights there are, as long as I'm sharing them with her.

I won't ever be completely alone. I'll be happy, and I won't remember all this pain. I won't be spiteful, nor angry , nor secluded from the world.

Life will be different.

And I'm not scared because I will have her, and she doesn't have to be afraid either because she'll have me.

    ๑☞ᴥ☞๑

Brown University welcomed us with open arms. The first week was notorious for initiations and new acquaintances. I and Gwen wanted to settle-in first before meeting people and making friends, refraining from any kind of engagement as soon as now. We rented an apartment outside campus and fully furnished it the same week. This was for privacy purposes. The idea of dormrooms did not stand out to me.

We registered our courses and programs dutifully. The both of us preferred to have our own orientation of the campus, we found it interesting to do our own discoveries. Besides, this way we won't have to mingle so often with people. We took our own maps and walked through every sector of the university that involved us.  It was easier for us to keep a low profile because most people minded their own business. I found that extremely comforting.

Both of us are majoring in agriculture. We have plans of purchasing lands and building ranches in various states. Neither of us have desires of taking up any particular profession other than establishing a stable business, plantations are profitable, and I already have a couple of lands on budget for purchase. Two in Tennessee and another in San Diego. I'd rather we buy these properties now before we lose the chance of ever owning them in the future. Gwen has her eyes set on San Francisco, property there costs a fortune but it's either now or never. We have discussed matters with our lawyers and attorneys, land prices will escalate incredibly in the next five years, we can't wait until we're done with college, prices are already fluctuating in the world market.