COLLATERAL LOVE

CHAPTER 16

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Waking up with blue balls has to be one painful  thing a man goes through, fuck. I get off bed, and wear my T-shirt. Today I'm going to fetch my daughter, it's been long overdue and my mother really outdid herself rearranging her room it will really accommodate her, I can't even hold my excitement. I step out of my room, and the weather is really not looking friendly I really hate Autumn & winter, they just don't do it for me. I walk inside the house, and I find my mother cooking up a storm, ai this woman and drama.

“Good morning Mamzo,” kissing her cheek.

“Good morning boy. How did you sleep?”

Me: “Good mom,” taking a carrot that's on top of the kitchen counter. “You?”

Her: “I couldn't sleep I'm so excited about Lethabo coming back home. My prayers have finally been answered, son I'm so happy,” you can't miss the excitement in her voice.

Me: “And you are cooking a storm for just for her?”

Her: “Yeap. She is my grandchild after all. Did you tell Ngiphile?” I shake my head. Why? She is her mother Xolane!”

Me: “I don't deny that, but she wasn't there for her when she needed her the most, and now that my daughter is awake I have to tell her, so that she will come here, and start acting like a caring mother? I'm not about that bullshit life!” She heaves out a sigh.

Her: “But still. You must tell her Xolane, it's only fair that she knows.”

Me: “I will tell her, but I don't want her to come here.”

Her: “Xolane!”

Me: “No mama. I don't want her here. Let me go, and fetch my daughter, but I need to pass by the car wash first to see how far are they with the planning.”

Her: “What are they planning?”

Me: “We are doing a street bash this coming Saturday, and we are opening my chicken & grill place.”

Her: “I'm so proud of you my son. Hopefully this means that you will stop being a gangster,” my mom knows my line of duty, and trust me when I say she never likes it, but it's in me, and there is no running away from it.

I remember how she would spend sleepless night worried about me, and my safety I didn't blame her though because of the stories he hears about gangsters, and shit. I would come back wounded, and she will nurse me crying, or maybe she was afraid that I will end up like my Father, killed & burnt in front of the church building on a Sunday morning before the church members, that really traumatized her, and ever since then she has never gotten into a relationship and that was 19 years ago, but the wound to her it's still fresh. Sometimes I wish that I can carry her load for her, but one way or the other I will have to leave this gangster bullshit and focus on my family.

“Xolane,” she calls my name breaking my thoughts.

Me: “Sorry Ma I was thinking.”

Her: “Want to talk about it?” I shake my head. “Just in case, know that I'm here,” I nod.

Me: “I've got to go now Ma, I will see you in a few,” kissing her cheek.

Her: “Drive safe.”

Me: “I will. Thank you,” I step out of the house, and walk to my car that is parked outside, I really need to change it.

Few minutes later I'm at the car wash with my workers discussing a way forward about this coming weekend gig. I really want it to be a success, and for it to be a success I will need to have a lot of cash, cash of which I don't have right now.