Wrong Number [2018] Harry Styles

78. is that a sign? [narrated]

friday, 1st of february, 2019

I sigh and sit on the porche stairs, looking at his white Mercedes parking in front of my house.

I would have liked to stay serious, but I couldn't retain the laugh when I saw him wearing the ugly sweater I made for him.

Harry smiles at me and opens his arms as an invitation.

"You shouldn't be here," I say standing up.

"Just hug me, angel."

For a second or two, I doubt, but I end up running towards him and letting his arms wrap my body tightly.

"It looks great on you," I comment looking at his eyes.

"I know."

Harry places his arms over my shoulders and pulls me closer to him to leave a peck on my forehead. Then, he grabs my hand and leads me to the stairs, where we sit.

"Are you sure you don't want to come to my exclusive party?" He asks arching his eyebrow. I shake my head, and his smile widens. "You're gonna regret it."

"I'm sure I don't wanna go to your party, specially if your friends are Louis Tomlinson and Ed Sheeran."

"Tommo is dying to meet you."

My brain stops working after processing his words, I need some time to find what to say, but I end up showing off my surprise.

"Did you just call him Tommo?" I frown. "And why does he want to meet me?"

"He says I only talk about you, so, yes, Tommo wants to meet you." With eyebrows raised, he gives me a cheerful look. "Today could be the day."

"Today's not the day," I say also raising my eyebrows. "I would mess things up and probably say something I shouldn't say, then your best friends will hate me and you'll stop talking to me, because friends over girls."

"But you're not a girl." I look at him confused. "I mean, you're a girl, but not that kind of girl." He catches my still more confused look and laughs a bit. "What I really mean is that you're also my friend. And you don't have to worry about anything. I like you and they will like you too."

Meeting Harry's friends is like meeting the royalty. I would stutter and my hands would sweat, it's gonna be gross and I, honestly, don't want to put myself in such uncomfortable and anxious situation. Yet.

"I'm fine for now," I say shrugging.

Harry sighs, but he's not mad. Actually, he smiles at me the same way I do at him, and, surprising me, he places his arm around my waist and leans in to kiss my head.

It could be an ordinary gesture, nothing special, but it feels personal, something only he could do without making me want to put miles of distance between us. In fact, I want him even closer.

But he pulls back, not too much, and leaves his arm around my waist. His eyes look so clear and magnetic that I can't stop staring at them, while he's looking first at my eyes, then my nose and finally my smile.

"I forgot to say that I love your hair," Harry says looking again at my eyes.

"Thanks, but after this it is going back to black." I chuckle, shrugging again.

"But you still haven't tried blue."

"I'd go bald and we both know that," I say before we both laugh, but it sounds so distant I don't pay much attention to it.

I can only look at Harry.

We're so close I can see the different shades in his clear and indescribable eyes. But he's not looking into mine because my lips got his attention. For a moment something tells me to put more space between us, but the pressure of his arm around my waist tells me the opposite.

"Angel," He whispers, looking several times from my eyes to my lips.

Is that a sign?, I wonder right before we both eliminate the space between us.

I don't know why, but in just a couple seconds everything changed. We didn't need to say anything else, we both went in for it.

Harry's lips press gently against mine, sending shivers all over my body and leaving a warm feeling on my chest. It's just a stroke of lips, barely looks like a kiss, but this connection feels strong, pure and genuine.

Before anything goes further, I pull away and look at the front as if my soul just left my body. I snap back into reality, that reality where I just kissed my friend.

I fucked up.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Harry," I say holding the need to run away. I stand up and look at Harry, whose expression is so serious it scares me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

He's not looking at me and I can't read anything on his face. Insecurities start filling my head, telling me he probably thinks something that is not true, or something I don't want him to believe, because that could cost me our friendship.

I'm gonna lose him. I know it. I don't want all these months to go to waste. I messed up and now he's gonna evaporate like everything else.

Harry finally moves. He stands up and opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out of it.

"I'm sorry," I whisper holding my tears. I'm probably overreacting but I can't help it, losing him is a fear I didn't have to face before.

"It's fine," He says, but I know it isn't true.

And I don't know what else to say.

"I should go back," He talks again and finally looks at me, but there's none of the feelings I saw before. Not the happiness he used to look at me with. "They must be waiting for me."

"Yes, you should go." I cross my arms and look at the ground, too embarrassed to stare into his eyes.

"Bye, Ariel."

Ariel.

It is my name but I don't want to hear it from him. I wanna hear "angel".

Understanding that things can only go worse, I say goodbye and get back in my house.

It was just a kiss, something so meaningful that felt right, but now, with the possibility of losing Harry because of it, I regret every second of it.

And, over anything else, I regret that I liked it.