The Diary Of A Redhead | #WIA2020

N I N E T E E N

The camera flashed with numerous questions being asked. The crowd was getting bigger and I sat there on the bed edge along with the lifeless body of my mother, staring down at her. I could hear the noise around but I wasn't able to figure it out. The tears dried somewhere along the way and I had nothing left to say anymore. I moved my gaze up and looked inside the crowd, there she stood smiling at me. She was gesturing something at me but I couldn't figure it out. I was too small for that. Dad rushed to my side and picked me up and he shed a few tears looking at me but I didn't show any emotions. It was too much for a five-year-old. I looked at my mother down again and in the crowd but there was no one now. The reporters moved towards us and circled down as they kept on asking us as to why my mother would kill her when she had such a young daughter and a successful career. I was numb so I engulfed my dad in a hug and kept on crying until they were gone. 

The flashes from the past came alive when I see the same thing today. It's just there are no reporters around but the people from the town whispering something or showing their hatred. The factory was shut down as people barged inside and ruined everything. Every single thing. Even today I was numb as I sat on the couch looking down with Aiden and Emily on my either side holding me tight. My dad stood at some distance handcuffed. There was no way to go out with protestors around the area so Mr Moore started with his investigation at house without wasting any moment. Evans had a smirk on his face.

My mom was surprisingly calm and composed as she stood with Mr and Mrs Wright. Dad! No, he can't be. A murderer can't be my father. He is Callum Anderson the wrong person my both moms married. He had nothing on his face. No shame, no worry, no anger and no guilt. He wasn't ashamed of his crimes. He just stood there keeping his head high even now.

"Are you sure that she committed suicide?" A friend of my dad came to grieve about the loss he was suffering from. Dad shook his head while I was sitting closely. I was still recovering from what I saw even after a week. I just couldn't get it out of my head or I was able to believe that I won't see my mom again. I was shocked and that's how I started seeing her around the house everywhere. Even now she was sitting in front of me but she didn't smile. The look on her face got me scared.

"Who would want to kill her? She was so innocent," Dad said. I kept looking at my beautiful mom sitting at the front as she held her head low.

"It's sad that she chose this path," Dad's friend said again and looked at me as he asked further, "What will happen to the daughter? Would you able to take care of her on your own." There he pointed at the possibility of getting me another mother.

"I can handle her well,"  Dad said looking at me for a brief moment and back at the person, "I will give her all the happiness that she deserves." He finished putting a hand on my head. the person let out a laugh and I couldn't quite get him. I looked at him with confusion.

"You hold your head too high, Anderson. People might mistake you,"  he said. I didn't get it at that time. I didn't get what he was trying to say. It meant he is not guilty or sad for anything happening around him because he doesn't care. Never has.

"I don't know what should I be guilty of. Why won't I hold my head high?" Dad said and smiled at him. That smile wasn't his usual one. The five-year-old me was scared but I had nothing more than my father. I wiped off that face I saw and put it back into my memories. Locking that part behind and forgetting about it.

I remember that very well now. I know what it looked like and it scares to point at the next possibility. I am scared for the confession but I need to hear the truth.

"Why?" Mr Moore asked. I kept my head low as if I was the criminal but he even when I don't want to admit is my father and my family so, the hate people showing out is for me as well. I lived with this man for the 18 years of my life and still couldn't get him. I don't know why I feel responsible for people outside. I sniffed as Aiden pulled me closer and pecked on my head.