The Diary Of A Redhead | #WIA2020

F I V E

I don't think I will ever be able to forget what I saw there. Mr Gracia lying there on the ground, lifeless. His hands and legs tied with a piece of cloth that had no traces of anything. The robe used to choke him was nowhere at the scene. His eyes were telling a story, they were trying to convey the terror he experienced but they were blank now. His forehead had the roman eleven (XI) but this time, there was something more. Something was written on the wall. It was just one letter Rache. I have no clue what it meant or who wrote it. Maybe Mr Gracia? or the killer? But why? What is he trying to convey?

But my focus was solely on the body lying in front of me. I was frozen, unable to move until someone dragged me out by holding my arm. We weren't allowed here being the kids we were but we sneaked in without notice along with Mr Moore who is handling this case. He didn't know we followed though else he wouldn't have let us roam anywhere near the scene. There was a crowd around and we exactly used the same to get closer to Mr Gracia who was killed in the house where he lived with his wife and two kids. His house was the first where the town started so there never was much rush around. The river was flowing on the back with a few trees surrounding.

I saw Mrs Gracia along with their kids who were a few years older to me sitting helplessly and hopeless at one side on the grass with tears flowing through their eyes. They were shouting something to the officers asking them questions feeling devasted. I was blank. I don't know what to think or what to say. It was disturbing. I closed my eyes briefly unable to take the surroundings. I wanted to go home and be in my comforts. This is just too much for me. The flashes from the past came in front of me being alive. I don't want to go there. But thinking that is of no help today. 

I walked aimlessly behind the person who was pulling me out. The old voices started shouting inside my head making me reckless. I was shaking with fear. The sweat was dripping from my forehead making it worst. My pupils were moving rapidly and I feared I might get a panic attack anytime. I took deep breaths to calm myself down.

"Did you see anything?" "How was the relationship between your parents?" "Did you see anyone sneaking inside?" "Did you see your mother with anyone last night?" "Maybe she was having an affair" "Maybe she was suffering depression" "That lady was so lovely. It's so tragic that she ended things this way" "I don't believe she did this" "Oh Faith, my poor girl. What happened?" "Are you okay?" "How did this happen?"

I jerked the hand with full force and covered my ears by both hands as I sat on the ground closing my eyes shut. I wanted to disappear right at that moment. The tears started flooding through my eyes when the flashes from the past covered my head making it shut completely. I have experienced this trauma in the past when my mom lied there on her bed lifeless. The police officers everywhere around the house clicking pictures of whatever they thought might be a clue. The people around asking me and dad questions not bothering about the trauma we have been going through. The five-year-old me sat in one corner of the room along with my grandmother. 

I found myself at that same state again. The questions, the crowd, the lifeless body and the grieving people around. It's so hard and I want to go away.

"Faith, are you fine?" Emily's voice was calming when she sat near me holding my body with her arms. Edmund was equally shaken by seeing the whole surrounding but I can say he was coping with it better because he didn't have a traumatized past experience. I shook my head from side to side.

"No, I am not. I want to go home," I cried still not moving my hands from the ears. The eyes were still flooding with tears. Emily hugged me tightly.

"It's okay. You are fine. Take deep breaths," Edmund said sitting close to me with his hand over my shoulder. I looked up at him with the tears flowing through my eyes. I did as he said as they both looked at me with concern. I had shaky hands which were held tightly by Emily and I was glad for that. I found myself calming a little.