speak now | grayson dolan

chapter fifteen: lover

mackenzie

The summer is flying by with a graceful ease. I seriously never expected it would be filled with sneaking around with Grayson and trying to figure out my feelings about everything going on between us.

We've been spending every waking hour together. From sunrise to sunset he is by my side. Most of the time we're having sex and I'm learning new things about myself and my body. I feel like I'm a teenager finding my sexual awakening again.

Our relationship is pretty much the same, except we're naked all the time. Totally normal for best friends who have intense sexual tension between them.

With every pancake we eat at Flo's, to every picture I capture between us, we're forming a new bond that wasn't there before. It's stronger and deeper than it ever was. I see Grayson in a different light now. He makes me feel something I never thought I would feel, which is too terrifying to comprehend.

It's kind of hard to mask my feelings when we're constantly sleeping together. He dreams of having sex with me while I dream of cuddling with him and watching The Notebook in my bedroom. It's starting to worry me, but at the end of the day I would never lose Grayson. He's too important to me.

As I upload my SD card to my laptop, a smile pops onto my face at the pictures I've been taking this summer. Most of them are of Grayson, yet some include all of us.

There's photos of Ethan with his surfboard, Jade looking gorgeous on the beach, and Adam flexing his muscles. It's pretty typical for what's on my camera.

I scroll through the pictures that I took of Grayson at Flo's. I grin like a five year old at how adorable he looks. He's secretly a big kid at heart, which he'll never admit.

Once I'm done gushing over the pictures, I look at my schedule for the upcoming week.

I booked three jobs and couldn't be more thrilled. I'm also in talks to photograph some of the sorority and fraternity houses at my former college. They'll be scouting soon and I can upload the pictures to my photography instagram account. It's an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

As I'm writing some ideas down in my planner, there's a knock on my door. I lift my head and see Mom standing in the doorway. She sends me a weak grin as she keeps her eyes on mine.

"Come in." I giggle and put my planner down.

"Working hard?" She walks into my room and sits next to me on my bed.

"You know it." I push a piece of my hair behind my ear and look down at my camera. "I just booked some more jobs and my resume gets sent out every half hour. It's been a pretty solid day."

"You've been working your ass off." Mom nods.

"Everything has been so crazy lately. I can't believe I'm out of college. It feels weird to not start a new semester."

"Life doesn't stop for anyone, sweetheart. It's always moving and changing." She says while looking at me. "You're growing into the mature woman you've always been. I see you constantly planning out your future."

"It's all in here." I laugh and hold up my planner.

"You've been jotting down ideas since you were four years old. I love the work ethic that you have, it's something your father always admired."

I nervously gulp and look up at her. The small smile that was on her face is now completely gone. Her hands are shaking with nerves and she looks like she's on the verge of tears.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I put my equipment aside and scoot closer to her on my bed.

"You know I love you so much, don't you?" She says with a shaky voice. I haven't seen Mom this upset since Dad's funeral. I'm starting to panic.