speak now | grayson dolan

chapter twenty two: cold as you

grayson

It's been a week since I've talked to any of my friends. At first I acted like it didn't bother me, but it actually does. Ethan is still giving me the cold shoulder. Not that I blame him, I totally deserve the silent treatment from all of them.

Adam claims that he's been busy, and Jade is still hanging out with Emmett. She posts pictures of him everyday on social media. As for Kenzie? I have no idea what she's up to, and I absolutely hate it. Her posts have been pretty silent or vague.

The only time she's really active is on her photography instagram page. It seems like she's booking a lot of jobs, which makes me happy. This is the longest I've gone without talking to her and it's killing me.

I hate not hearing about her day. I hate this mending silence between us. But I can only blame myself. I will kick myself in the ass for it every goddamn day for the rest of my life.

I want to speak to Kenzie and apologize for my actions, but I know she doesn't want to see or talk to me. If she did, she would have called.

Instead of sitting on my ass and moping around, I've been distracting myself at work. My new job is pretty great and I'm getting adjusted quickly. Now that summer is over, I'm buckling down and taking charge of my future.

Despite what people think, I'm decently smart and love numbers, hence why I'm in the marketing field. My boss is a hilarious older man who always cracks jokes and never stops laughing.

He makes the environment fun and not as serious, which is always a plus. I'm the youngest employee, causing me to be intimidated at first.

When they hired me they said they needed a twenty two year old to give the older workers more insight on social media and the new wave of technology. Honestly, it's been fun to teach them things.

I love seeing their reactions when I take a photo and share it immediately. They think it's the most magical thing.

I get home early on Fridays, walking through the door at twelve thirty. As I look around my empty condo, I notice Ethan isn't here. He doesn't tell me where he goes anymore, but I assume he's out surfing.

Setting my belongings down, I walk over to my bedroom. Staring at myself in the mirror doesn't feel the same anymore. A part of me likes the man I see. I'm in a suit and tie everyday and working my ass off for my company. I'm as motivated as ever.

But I'm still a total dick. I need to rearrange my attitude if I ever want to be loved again. Kenzie fell in love with me despite all my flaws. That hits something deep into my core.

Letting out a breath, I take off my tie and unbutton my dress shirt. I've been hitting the gym lately to destress. It feels good to get back out there.

After changing into a tank top and shorts, I slip on my sneakers and pack my gym bag. I hear the front door open and close with a thud.

Exhaling a breath, I step out of my room. My brother is wearing his wetsuit and leaning his surfboard against the wall next to the door.

I clear my throat. "Hey."

He turns to glance at me over his shoulder. "Hi."

"Get a good surf in?" I awkwardly ask. I've never felt so disconnected from my twin before. God, my life is crumbling at the seams.

"Yeah, pretty decent." He replies.

"I'm glad." The silence between us is deafening.

"How was work?" He finally asks, lifting his head to look me in the eyes.