Uppercut (A James Maslow FanFic)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

My conversation with James was interrupted once again by another one of Devon’s cough attacks. I locked eyes with my brother, who was sitting opposite of me and Devon on the couch. The sound made both of us uneasy.

It broke my heart to know that Devon wasn’t feeling that great. Instinctively, I clutched him closer to my body, wishing more than anything that I could trade places with him. Once he quieted down again, I began to continuously run my fingers across his back. It was the best I could do to soothe him in his current state.

“He doesn’t seem to be doing any better than yesterday,” James turned his attention back to the TV. Seeing that a new show had started, he frowned. He leaned forward to grab the remote off of the coffee table in front of him.

I reclined into the couch, allowing Devon to lay against my body. He rested his head on my chest, seeming miserable. “The doctor told me that he wouldn’t be able to get him in for a couple more days,” I supported Devon with one arm as I used the other to push his blond hair off his forehead. His skin was warm to the touch.

James was flicking through the TV channels. “Yeah, I remember you saying something about that...”

I looked back down at Devon, starting to rub his back again. When I had called the pediatricians’ office they had assured me that he would be fine. After telling them what signs of the illness he was showing, they were convinced that it was a cold of some sort and scheduled him an appointment.

“I still say he got it from one of the other kids at Day Care. Every time that one of them is sick, I swear half the class catches it before the end of the week,” It bothered me that I couldn’t be of more help to him. If he was a lot older, I could just give him some DayQuil and wait it out. But because he was still so young, I had to wait for the doctor to prescribe him something when we went to the appointment. Until then naps and chicken noodle soup were the best I could do.

Even though I hated to see Devon in this state, part of me was thankful for the distraction. After coming home from Ashton’s house that one night, my brain had been spinning and I hadn’t been sure of how I felt about anything anymore. Ever since then, my mind had been filling itself with ‘what ifs’.

What if I had another conversation with Ashton? What if his parents wanted to help out in ways I couldn’t refuse? What if I gave in? What if I didn’t?

And then those ‘what ifs’ had begun to evolve from there.

What if Devon continued to grow up without a father? What if he started asking about Ashton as he got older? What if Ashton would be better at all this than I expected?

And despite my current distraction, similar thoughts still managed to creep into my mind. No matter how much I tried to stop them, I knew I could never fully keep Ashton away.

What if Ashton were here right now? What if he helped to take care of Devon when he was sick? What if he was better at it than I was?

What if his mother knew how to make Devon feel better? What if I called her? What if she had remedies that I would never think of?

Of course I wasn’t really considering these thoughts, they just nagged at me in the back of my mind. They added to the stress and pressure I was feeling about making the right decision. 

The sound of a bell ringing made me tear my gaze away from my son. I looked up to find that James had finally settled on a TV channel. More specifically, a sports channel. And of course a boxing match was currently being aired. The bell I had heard had signaled that the fight had just started.