Uppercut (A James Maslow FanFic)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

(Picture of Ashton on the Side)

I sat staring out the window of the taxi. I had one leg up on the seat, my arms wrapped around my knee.   I placed my head on my knee and sniffled. I was still upset. Actually, upset was the wrong word. I was heartbroken. I was crushed. I felt like absolute crap. It felt like Ashton all over again. Another tear slipped out and I quickly wiped it away.

He had just walked away. He walked out of my life and I couldn’t even stop him. He ignored my pleas and didn’t look back.

I took a shaky breath. I felt as if I was splitting in two. Like I was broken beyond repair.

That scene was permanently etched into my brain. When I closed my eyes it was all I saw. It was like a red hot iron brander, painful and scarring.

After James had left, Alex and I stood in the hallway for what seemed like hours. I cried my heart out into his shirt and stained it with my tears, and probably some snot as well. He tried to comfort me but it was impossible. He knew it too, but he tried.

Drew and my mom came back after a while. They had Devon with them. I didn’t fully hear the conversation they had with Alex. I just knew that they were talking, Alex probably telling them what happened. I wasn’t paying attention to what was happening. I was led down the hall and outside. I was helped into a taxi and we drove off.

I had been in the same sitting position ever since.

I stared at the lights outside, blurry due to my tears that kept slipping out. I wasn’t bawling anymore, like I was in the hallway with Alex. I was a little more held together than that, but just barely. Just by a single thread. I felt as if I could lose it any minute. 

The driver was most likely concerned but I hadn’t even glanced in his direction. I couldn’t even look at my own family.

 I knew they were sad too. They felt bad for me and I didn’t want to see the pity in their eyes. There was a good chance that my mom was almost as upset as I was. She didn’t like it when her kids fought. She was probably upset with James because she didn’t even get to ask him about joining us for dinner.

But she didn’t know how I felt. No one would fully understand. It was like there was no hope. Ashton had left me and he hardly said a word to me since. It seemed that James would be the same way because of the similarities of the situations. It was the only thing I knew that could result from a situation like that, abandonment.

I felt so alone. I mean, I knew I had my family on my side, they accepted me years ago. But without James I felt like my whole life had just taken a turn for the worst. Like I was lost, incomplete, searching for the acceptance I would never find. He would never look at me the same, if I ever even saw him again. He would never talk to me the same. He would never be the same. I would never be the same.

I wiped my eyes for the fiftieth time as I watched the scenery pass by.

I wondered what James was doing. I wondered where he went, what he was feeling, what he was thinking. I just wanted him to understand. I needed him to understand. We used to be best friends. I just needed that relationship back. I had a feeling that it wouldn’t come back and it scared me.

The car finally stopped. I picked my head up, actually trying to see what was in front of me for once instead of blankly staring. We were in a parking lot.

I placed my foot back down on the floor and looked towards the neon lighted building. It was a restaurant.

My breath hitched in my throat. Was he here? Had my mother told him to join us? It was possible. I hadn’t been paying attention to anything during the past half an hour. I felt myself getting closer towards the point of hyperventilation as my eyes frantically searched the surrounding area.