Chapter 20

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When I get back to work on the next
Monday I am showered with questions and not just from Lia but also from some of my other coworkers who happened to see the tweets or articles that were written about me.
I blush furiously while I try to explain everything and answer all the questions that were thrown at me.
Lia finally comes to my rescue when she grabs my arm and yanks me away from the table we were sitting at and tells the others that we need to prepare some excercises for the children.
"You and Niall look so good together", Lia says in awe as we both sit in the backyard and cut pieces of paper into slices for the kids to use while crafting.
"He is amazing and I told him I loved him", I grin with a cheeky smile.
"God Victoria", she squeals and pushes me slightly so that I nearly fall off the bench.
"All my friends from at home are jealous because I know Niall Horans girlfriend", she laughs loudly and I grin.
"What are you doing?", Dana asks as she skips over to us closely followed by Aisha, both look at us with curiosity in their eyes.
"We are preparing something for your crafting time later", Lia explains and Dana climbs up on the bench that we are sitting on so she is able to see what we are doing.
We hand them some crayons and they start coloring some of the slices we cut.
"Are you married?", Dana asks suddenly and Lia snorts amused at the little girls question.
"Why do you ask that Dana?", I ask being confused on how she came up with that topic.
"My dad wants to marry someone that isn't my mommy", she pouts and tears form in her bright eyes.
"You know Dana, sometimes people just fall out of love and that doesn't mean your dad doesn't love you anymore", Lia calms her down and Aisha takes her hand.
I am taken aback by her words and suddenly I am back being 10 watching my mother scream at my father and him packing his backs screaming back at her.
I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone and especially not on Dana or Aisha.
"I bet you can still meet your Dad and have playtime", I force myself to forget the bad memories I have about my father.
Right now I really don't want to see him because all I feel for him is anger and I am still deeply hurt by the way he left things between us.
"Now let's go get ice cream because when you are eating ice cream you can't be sad", Lia ruffles both Aisha's and Dana's hair before she shoots me a confused look.
I guess my face showed how much I felt for Dana and how much it reminded me of myself.
"Ice cream", Aisha exclaims happily and it feels like Lia casted a spell on both girls by mentioning the word ice cream.
Dana isn't sad anymore and happily jumps from the bench and grabs my hand.
Hand in hand we race Aisha and Lia back into the house and to the kitchen.
Since we can't just spoil two kids we ring the big bell that signalises everyone that it's time to eat or have a snack.
I love seeing the kids munch on their ice creams and forget about all their worries.
I wish I had a place like this when I was a child, a place where ice cream can make all the dark clouds disappear, where every feeling is valid, whether it is good or bad, where you can feel at peace and you know nothing bad is going to happen.
"You wanna try?", Dana offers me a spoon of her half melted chocolate chip ice cream and I smile down at her.
"Thank you Dana", I take her offer and she seems content.
Showing children that they are valid, that their opinion matters and that you care about them is so important.
I leave work still thinking about Dana's father and mine and father's in general, like how did I end up with a father hat didn't care, with a father that left me all alone when I was so vulnerable and blamed myself.
I get a text from Niall, telling me to meet him at a small restaurant and that he couldn't pick me up because he ran into a friend.
Of course I don't mind the short ride on the bus, I love exploring London and seeing different parts of the city than just the part Niall lives in and where I work.
When I am nearly there I try to call Niall but his phones goes straight to voicemail and I frown.
It is definitely not usual for him to not answer his phone but maybe it ran out of battery and he is now busy talking to his friend he ran into.
I decide to just walk into the restaurant to see if he is there already and if not I'd just ask for the table he reserved.
When I walk through the heavy glass doors I immediately spot a familiar face sitting at a small table.
"Victoria".
I don't get the chance to run away because an elderly couple walked in behind me and they are now blocking my way out.
"Please sit down, give me a chance I need to explain myself", my father speaks up and makes a move to touch me but I flinch away.
"Fine but don't think I will believe anything you'll say", I spit angrily and take a seat across from him.
I curse Niall for setting me up to meet my father, I told him I wasn't ready and that I needed time to think before I faced him again but now he took my choice from me and I am furious.
A friendly waiter offers us champagne and I shake my head just ordering some water.
"Let me explain Victoria, you have always been on my mind, I have missed you ever since I left your mother but you know that people fall out of love and I just couldn't be with your mother anymore. You need to understand that I had to leave because I felt like I was suffocating with your mother always looking over my shoulder and blaming me for everything that went wrong in our lives.", he speaks while staring at the table not meeting my eye once.
"You left me too", my voice is shaking and I am angrily trying to hold back my tears.
"You don't get to tell me how bad you felt when you were the one who left me. You could have called or visited but you disappeared and I was still a child", I shout not caring about the other people in the restaurant.
He grabs my hand from over the table and I yank it away from his grip, I am not accepting an apology and I don't care what else he has to say.
"I am leaving", I get up and quickly grab my handbag.
"We can't leave things unsolved again Vicky", my father tries to calm me down but I shake my head, my hair flying around me.
"You could have explained back then but you didn't, you had your chance", I tell him coldly and leave the restaurant in a hurry.
Hot tears are streaming down my face and I take the next Bus back to Nialls house.
"Why did you do that to me?", I scream as soon as he opens the door and I push past him to the kitchen, pacing angrily back and forth before he takes ahold of my body.
"You needed to talk and I wanted to do it while I am still here and able to comfort you", he says calmly and I push him away.
"I wasn't ready Niall and it was horrible, I don't want to solve things right now I am not ready", I cry and tears flow uncontrollably.
"I am sorry babe, I really am, I didn't think it would go this bad", he admits and I let him hug me again.
"Please don't go behind my back again and please don't lie to me again", I plead and he promises.
We stay like this, embracing each other until I stop crying.

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