Tainted Love (bxb)

Chapter 18 - Come to me

It was about 1 in the morning when my phone buzzed. And that was strange. Because nobody ever really texted me. My friends and I communicated through the mind link and I had blocked my uncle's number, so he could only disturb me in person or through the link as well. The only people who would text me were some of the human kids, who somehow had gotten my number and would invite me to parties or stuff, which I would never go to. But not at one in the morning! When I turned to look at my phone, I almost dropped it when I read the name of the contact. 

Bambi❤️

Yeah I had his number, but I had always had it, for some reason, just the heart was very new, before that, there were a few other emojis I would rather not quote now. I stared at my lock screen, unable to comprehend that this was real and that my mate was actually thinking about me and even went as far as texting me. I mean, it wasn't a complete surprise, since the mating bond had very much intensified since our kiss and I knew that Riley could feel it too. 

For me, it was almost like the first few days after I had found out we were mates, except I wasn't in so much physical pain, just the longing for him, for his scent, his touch, his lips and his whole being was very much there and drove me insane. He was all I could think about and only because his scent was still all over my shirt that I had laid down next to me, was I able to at least try and get some very much needed rest. And Riley was very affected by the mating bond as well. I could feel him and what he was feeling. Very faint and at first I didn't even realized that it was his emotions I was detecting, until Dixon made me aware of that fact. 

He was also longing for me and I could only try to imagine how confusing that was for him. One minute he was still in love with Sawyer and planning their future together, the next he was thinking about nothing but his arch enemy, wishing to be near me. I would have loved to just explain to him, what he was experiencing, but I didn't want to put any pressure on him. If he would even accept the fact that I was a werewolf, I didn't want him to know that we were mates. 

Maybe that was stupid, but I wanted him to love me despite that. I didn't want him to feel like he ever had to stay with me, because leaving might kill me. I didn't want him to know, how unbearable it was for me, when he wasn't with me or when he was kissing Sawyer, because he had a right to do all of those things, because he was his own person. Just because we shared a soul, did not mean, that he should make his decisions based on that, so I decided against letting Riley in on that part of mine and now also his life. 

Hesitantly, I opened the text, just to see a simple word, that made my heart swell and my smile grow: Hi. It was so simple, so short and yet I knew, that Riley had put much more into that. Because for the first time, my mate had reached out to me. He missed me, maybe, but at least he was thinking enough about me, to want to talk to me. I wondered, if he had also already had my number or if he tried and got it this late at night. I also wondered, if he was alone or with Sawyer, but I guess he was by himself, or else he wouldn't be texting me. Riley did not want to upset Sawyer and I guess he was still keen on staying with him, but the mating bond did not let him forget. 

I stared at the text, unsure if I should reply. I wanted to, gosh I wanted nothing more than to talk to my mate, but he told me to stay away and I would, if that meant his happiness. If I would reply, it would only trouble him more and maybe he would shut me out again. The other option, where Riley was giving into his desirers and texted me, ending up feeling as guilty as he did after the kiss and didn't even get a reply, wasn't much better to be honest. I stared at my phone, wanting to turn it off, but I-I couldn't...That was my mate for crying out loud and he was reaching out to me, I couldn't turn him down now!

Hey

I texted, still giving him a chance to turn off his phone and forget, that he had even texted me in the first place. I wouldn't push him, not now, not when he was in such a fragile and confused state. The last thing he needed, was pressure from my side to choose me, because I didn't want that. He could do whatever he wanted and of course I hoped that he would give me a chance, but I did understand why I would not be his first pick. Sawyer was a good guy and they were together for over two years now, they had a lot of history together. The mating bond probably made it hard for my mate to think clearly, so I was trying to understand and provide him with what he needed to make this decision by himself.