Seducing Mr. Sungit

Chapter 19

Aislin Laurel

Throughout my whole entire teenage years. I've abstained from doing drugs, drinking alcohol, smoking, even partying. I didn't go to my 9th grade prom because I knew that my classmates would lace the juice with alcohol.

I am a good girl because I don't have any reason to be otherwise. I have a best friend, I had a perfect family, I go to a good school, my future is planned, I had Yoseff, I was...happy and content in my own little world.

But right now, after all the crap that I learned, heard, and experienced, ang sarap-sarap uminom. Ang sarap-sarap mag-drugs just to forget for a while everything that happened. I used to think that getting drunk when you have a problem is pointless because you're going to remember everything the next day plus the hangover.

Now, I get it. Fùck the hangover and I want that few hours of being drunk. 'Yung feeling na hindi miserable at wasak nang ilang oras. I need that feeling...but I'm the rational part of me is still stronger than my irrational part so nandito lang ako sa kwarto ko.

Nakahiga lang ako sa aking kama. Nakasarado din ang kurtina. Madilim ang buong paligid and I'm just here laying on my back and staring at the nothingness.

I used to be scared of the dark...but now...I felt like it's the safest place for me...atleast when I'm in the dark, no one could see me cry, no one could see the pain in my eyes.

Nakatitig lang ako sa kadiliman. There's a lot of going on my mind. Like how the man that I loved broke my heart and didn't explain anything or how my father cheated on my mom for a goddàmn year and still tells her that he loves her, or how my family's falling apart, or how the fùck am I gonna tell Eina that I'm moving back to Canada, or how can I even pull up my grades, now that I'm suspended because I dragged my ex's new girl's àss on the hallway?

Nakakabaliw. Nakakasakal. I just want an escape!

I wanna drink and get wasted for the first time because this is the perfect freaking opportunity. Nakakatindig balahibo na gustong subukan mag-drugs..pero I know that I'm just gonna make things worse. So instead of doing that, I'm laying here.

In the black of hole also known as my room.

I sighed loudly and buried my face in my pillow. My muffled scream through the pillow broke the deafening silence. 

Ang bigat bigat ng dibdib ko. My eyes and head are hurting already. Sumigaw ulit ako hanggang sa naramdaman ko ang pagsakit ng lalamunan ko. I banged my fists on my bed as I screamed my feelings out.

No one's going to hear me. No one's home. 

My father is nowhere to be found. My mother is already arranging my papers from the school. We're going back to Canada as soon as possible dahil doon kinasal ang parents ko. As soon as we get back there, the sooner the divorce will be processed.

My mother needs a fresh start kung saan walang bakas ng pang-gagagong ginawa ng Tatay ko sa kanya. We have an apartment in Ontario and she has a lot of connections there so she can get a job in a snap.

Pumayag akong sumama sa kanya sa Canada...she needs my support as her daughter. I know, I need to heal too and maybe going away from here is a good decision dahil malalayo ako kay Yoseff..

I don't know if I'm doing the right thing but I'm doing it anyway.

My eyes widened when I heard somebody knock.

"Anak...are you there?" I startled when I heard my father's voice.

Napapikit ako at sinubukang ipitin ang mga luha pero hindi ko 'yon napigilan sa pagpatak.