The Light You Give

23.

I climb into the passenger's side while Seth climbs into the driver's seat. Slamming the car door shut.

"You don't have to get involved in my shit all the time you know," Seth mutters angrily.

"Drive," I say angrily.

With an angry huff, Seth puts the car into reverse and backs out of the parking lot. He drives carefully down the road, his jaw tight. His knuckles whitening around the steering wheel.

Silence lapses in the car. Angry, harsh, tense silence. Seth pulls into the point's, cark park and stops the car. Before he rubs his forehead angrily.

"You really need to stop getting mixed up in my shit," Seth says angrily.

"Don't. Say that. You wouldn't be in half of these fucking situations if we weren't friends. Or if I didn't fucking sleep around. Or even fucking not date Tommy. It's not your shit if I'm a part of it as well." I snap angrily.

"Coming to check on me when Luke and I are having a discussion huh? That's not getting involved in my shit?" He yells angrily.

"Oh my god. I did not know why Luke texted Bea to tell me to go to the end of the hallway. You can't fucking be angry at me for making sure your okay either." I shout undoing my seatbelt and turning to face him.

"No, your right I can't be. But I am my own fucking person. I don't need you to come and do damage control every fucking second in case I've exploded. This isn't about you being asked to come down to check on me this is about you fucking not letting me let my anger out." He shouts.

"You know what you sound like right now. Your mad because I keep breaking up your fights? Your mad because I can handle myself and I don't need you to come to fight battles that I drag you into?" I say anger filling me, threatening me to burst.

"No. No. Just look I'm not mad at you. I just need someone to turn my anger onto." He says after being silent for a moment.

"Luke and Bea?" I ask him gently.

"That. Then there's that comment about you just being one of my fucking sluts. People think that of me. That I just pick girls up off the street and date a new girl every month. I know I'm not a good person for doing shit like that. But I'm so angry at myself for all that shit and just." He says angrily, his knuckles turning white as he clenches them. 

"Hey hey hey. You never treated a girl badly. You took them all out on proper dates. You just didn't have proper feelings for them. Which is perfectly okay. Don't beat yourself up over that shit." I say gently, grabbing his hand and squeezing his hand gently.

Seth closes his eyes gently and lets his head fall back against the seat, gripping onto my hand. He mutters something quietly which I don't hear.

"I'm sorry." He says after a while, opening his eyes.

"You're alright," I say gently. Tracing his knuckles gently.

"Can we not go back to school?" Seth asks, turning to me. His eyes were slightly red.

"Of course," I say with a nod. "Want me to drive?" I ask him carefully. He hesitates before nodding.

I climb out of the passenger side and walk around to his side. He pushes open the door and climbs out. He opens his arms and I wrap my arms around him. He buries his nose into my hair and lets out a soft sigh.

After a while he let's go. And moves around to the passenger's side. I climb in and adjust the seat and rearview mirror before starting the car. I can feel Seth's eyes watching me carefully. I take a few turns. As we end up on Lake Drive.