"Can I give you a hug?" Is it possible to want and not want something at the same time? "Please?" he insists and I nod. He approaches me and my breathing becomes irregular, our bodies are too close. He doesn't hug me. Instead, his hands touch mine...
Warning: This is an erotic love story that contains mature content, explicit sexual descriptions, people using drugs and references to mental illnesses. Please do not proceed if you are - 18 or sensitive to these subjects.
I will not be warning you before each chapter.
***
What is good or bad?
I think people have good sides and bad sides, weaknesses and strengths. Am I right?
I try not to make mistakes. But everyone makes mistakes. Perhaps I make too many. And then I try to correct them. Sometimes I make things worse.
I have feelings, everyone has feelings. But I'm not very good at dealing with them. I try to do my best, even if my best is not enough for some people.
After all, I'm just looking for someone to accept me with all my flaws and qualities. I'm just looking for love, although I don't believe in it.
And suddenly, he appears, and seems like he's the perfect fit for me. Even if he is not the best in the world in the eyes of others. I'm blind and he is perfect. Perfection exists after all. It exists when we are in love.
Love makes us change, it makes us want to be better, but sometimes it can bring forth our worst qualities. It makes us find things within ourselves that we didn't even know existed.
How can we balance all of this? Love has no balance. Love is unbalanced and overwhelming. Still, it is the best feeling in the world.
I learn and unlearn every day how to deal with something so new and overwhelming in my heart.
Love has no explanation, it just happens without us realizing why or how.
And the more involved I get, more difficult it is to go back.
Is it a cycle? Good feelings and bad ones? Happiness and fear?
Love is also surprising. Although I always believe that inside me there is no room for more, love increases every day. And it doesn't make my chest explode, it just makes me more and more overwhelmed, but in a great way.
When I came face to face with love, I didn't recognize it right away, nor did I accept it at face value. When we are used to suffering it is difficult to realize that we can be happy.
So, is there hope for damaged people like me? Maybe there is.
CHARACTERS
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