Christmas is in four days and Peter and I are going from store to store to buy gifts for our friends. It's so nice to have someone with me to do normal everyday things. Even though it's so cold in Groningen this time of year, Peter keeps my heart warm.
We go into an accessory shop to look for something interesting for Martina's gift, when my phone rings. I look at the screen and it's Júlia. I still haven't had time to talk to her, but I can't do that right now. I ignore her call once again.
"Why aren't you picking up?" asks Peter, while I look at beanies.
"I want to talk to her with more time." My phone keeps ringing in my pocket. "I want to tell her about us. She's gonna be pissed because I haven't been paying attention to her. Now's not the time."
"Pick up and tell her you'll call her later."
I decide to heed Peter's advice since she won't stop calling.
"What's going on?" asks Peter when I hang up. He doesn't understand Portuguese, but he's known me long enough to understand something's going on.
"My mom's in the hospital. She tried to kill herself by overdosing on pills." I choose a yellow hair band for Martina and bring it to the counter to pay for it.
"Wow!" Peter's shocked with these dramatic news. Unfortunately, I'm used to this. "But is she stable?"
"Don't worry, it's happened before. She does this to get my attention. I should have expected this because I haven't picked up a single call from her since I've been here." I grab the ticket, and we leave the store.
"Shouldn't we go to Portugal? Like right now?" I really liked that he said we. He's willing to go to Portugal with me.
"I don't think it's necessary." We walk side by side.
"It's your mom, don't you wanna see her?"
"I told you, our relationship is complicated. She's not like other moms, she's always been really mean to me."
Peter stops me and looks me in the eye, trying to figure me out.
"Alright, we'll do whatever you decide. But it feels to me you're not as comfortable with all of this as you appear to be. Once again you're defending yourself from the bad things that happen to you. If you want to stay, we'll stay. If you want to go, we'll go. But we're doing what you actually want to do, and not what you're telling yourself you want. Okay?"
"I don't know what I want. Like I said, this isn't new. Of course I'm worried she's my mom. I can't just stop feeling things for her. But are we gonna ruin Christmas with our friends over something she does on purpose to make me feel bad? She'll just be getting exactly what she wants." I feel very annoyed with all of this.
"Christmas isn't gonna be ruined either way, it's our first Christmas together so it'll always be special." Peter smiles, and my anger fades.
"You're right... Let's take the first plane there." I hold his hand, and he smiles at me.
"Alright, I'm finally meeting Lisbon."
Peter in my home environment. How weird will that be?
"But we'll be back before New Year's Eve. I want to spend that night with our friends."
"As you wish, Nutty."
***
We arrive in Lisbon around 11AM and get an Uber to my place.
Júlia and I live in a two-bedroom apartment. This apartment belonged to my grandparents on my father's side, they bought it when my dad moved to Portugal so they could visit him, and now it's mine. I got this apartment and the one in Scotland. I'm glad my parents got a prenup, otherwise my mother would have gotten everything.
YOU ARE READING
Good at Games, Bad at Love (18+)
Romance"Can I give you a hug?" Is it possible to want and not want something at the same time? "Please?" he insists and I nod. He approaches me and my breathing becomes irregular, our bodies are too close. He doesn't hug me. Instead, his hands touch mine...
