Good at Games, Bad at Love (18+)

Chapter 50 - The last night

Peter and I spend the rest of the semester in bliss. We never talked about separating again and enjoyed every moment together.

Summer in the Netherlands is very nice. The days are long, the temperature's great, we went to a few festivals and had a lot of fun. And we accomplished the trips we had planned with our friends to Bremen and Amsterdam.

Becky distanced herself more and more from the group, to the point where we almost didn't see her anymore. For me it was a relief.

As for me, Peter allowed me to drink and smoke joints whenever I felt like it. I tried to do it in moderation, but there were a few times where I could not be moderate. Especially the times that I remembered that I will separate from him and the pain grew in my chest.

I've officially gotten my degree in Human Resource Management and Peter's also gotten his degree in Sports.

It's the middle of August. Júlia went back to Portugal yesterday and tomorrow I'm getting on the train to Amsterdam. From Amsterdam I'm flying to London and then catch my connecting flight to Edinburgh. I'm going with Hardin, Becky, and David. Hardin and Becky are staying in London, and David and I are heading to Edinburgh.

Peter's leaving the following day with Dylan.

Peter and I are spending our last night together in my studio apartment and I feel this overwhelming sadness inside of me. To think I might not see his smile again, smell his scent, hear his voice, feel his touch, every day, will be also the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

"I need you to promise me something," I say to Peter. We're both lying in bed, holding each.

"What?"

"I need you to never stop yourself from doing something because of me."

"What do you mean?"

"If you meet a girl, you'll get to know her and you won't back off because of me."

He looks at me very seriously. His hands slide over my bare back and pulls me closer to him. I feel a shiver down my spine.

"Kelly, what is this nonsense?"

"I'm serious, I want you to live your life."

"You're saying there's a chance you might meet someone in Scotland?"

"No. That's not why I'm going there. If I had to be with someone, that person would be you. I already have the best guy, I don't need another one."

"So I'm the best in the world?" He smiles.

"I'm serious, I don't want you to stop living your life and wait for someone that's as much of a mess as I am. But only if it's someone that's worth it. If it's someone who's as crazy as I am, stay with me."

I try to talk about this lightly, but I'm so sad that I don't know how I'm holding on without crying.

"My nutty." He holds me tight in his strong arms.

"Promise."

"I can't promise that."

"It's important for me to know that I won't be a burden in your life."

"You won't be, that I can promise you."

"Alright. I have something to tell you, and you're not gonna like it."

"What is it?"

"I invited Hardin to go into rehab with me in Edinburgh." Peter looks shocked. He removes his arms from me and moves his body slightly away from mine.

"What?! I can't go, but that guy's going with you?!"

"He said no. Relax," I say.

He sighs in relief, and his hands go back to my back, sliding down to my ass. I lightly stick my fingers into the skin on his back to relieve the pressure, I'm starting to feel very sensitive.

"But wait, why would you invite him to go with you?"

"He's also got a substance abuse problem, and he doesn't have anyone else. He's lost, like I am. I feel bad, I see myself in him in a lot of things. The difference is that he hasn't found someone who loves him, like I did with you."

"Still, I'm glad he said no. I wouldn't be able to stand having you with him all the time. It would drive me crazy, for sure."

"I care about Hardin. He's not gonna have a happy ending if he keeps going like this."

"Okay, let's not talk about him anymore. I need to enjoy the last few hours with you." Peter comes closer to me, squeezes me more and his lips touch mine.