Good at Games, Bad at Love (18+)

Chapter 13 - I can't resist

It's been almost two days, and Peter hasn't said a word.

One thing's for sure, I'm not taking the first step. The man who can make me chase him is still yet to be born. I'm gonna wait, be strong. If he doesn't say anything, it'll be the end of our thing, whatever that thing may be. If it's the end, maybe it's for the best, less drama for everyone involved. As long as he doesn't stay with Becky, because I can't stand seeing him with her. Besides, I broke up with Hardin; I don't want him flaunting some other girl in front of me while I'm alone, like a loser. Oh well, I'd easily find someone else to rub in his face, anyway.

I called Júlia today, and explained what's been going on, and what happened with Peter. She told me I couldn't even wait until the second semester to get myself into trouble.

She added that in her opinion, since I've fucked two guys from our group, I might as well get new friends just to keep it safe, in case things go wrong with this group. She laughed and said that after getting new friends I could finish the job and bang Marcus and Dylan, because it's what she would do.

I laughed at the time, but that won't happen. I like these guys; I don't want to find other friends. And I like Peter and don't want to find anyone else. Oh well, I don't know what I'm thinking. If I were in my normal state, I'd do exactly what Júlia said.

I'm so deep into this whole mess and so filled with feelings for these people that I don't know how this happened. Maybe it's the fact that I'm completely alone that makes me feel needy, missing Júlia support. That must be it.

I get a text from Martina asking if I want to go to the party at Dylan's. It'll be a latino themed party, so of course I'm going. I desperately need to see if Peter's there, and what his reaction will be once he sees me. I also want to see if Becky's there and see if she knows something, or if they're still together.

I want to dress sexy and provocative. I feel so insecure that I need to show and fake outwardly confidence. It's hard to choose something provocative with this cold weather. I go for a red dress, the color of confidence, straps, with a fabric that adjusts to my silhouette and enhances my curves. I'm taking a chance on this summer dress but all the closed spaces in this country, it's always hot as hell because of the heaters. I have to bring a warm coat for when I'm outside

Around midnight, Martina's ringing on my doorbell so we can go to the party together at Dylan's. Since I need some courage for the night, I had two shots of tequila and smoked some weed before leaving the house.

I know I shouldn't drink or smoke by myself, because I'm going back to old habits and I didn't want that. I realize I can move countries, but the whole starting over and being a new person thing is a bunch of bullshit. I'll always come back to the same cycle of addictions and mistakes.

"Hey girl!" says Martina as I walk out of the building. We hug. She's also looking very beautiful today, with a beige dress and a brown jacket. And she straightened her dark hair.

"How are you? How's things with Dylan?" I get on my bike, and she smiles at me.

"Pretty good. How are you and Hardin?"

"We broke up." I shrug and get on my bike, realizing no one in the group probably knows this. This is a good sign. None of my lovers talked about me.

"Really?! And are you okay?" Her brown eyes wide with shock. I start riding my bike, and she follows.

"Yeah, it was a friendly break-up. We had nothing serious, anyway. This way both of us can explore other paths," I say to her, smiling.

"Oh, okay." She seems surprised. "I thought you were falling for each other."