Loaded Gun, Empty Arms

7. Secret

I tensed slightly and turned my head away. I tugged my sleeves down more to hide the bandages, "Is that what you called it...?"

"Kachaan. I loved you. You know I did. And you threw it away." 

His voice was as cold as I remembered. That itch started to come back. I picked at the bandages. It was a mistake to do so.

"Oh? You're cutting again, aren't you?"

I bit the inside of my cheek when he moved closer. I winced when he grabbed my arm and pulled it closer to himself. 

"Don't..."

He pulled up my sleeve and looked at the bandages, "Why are you covering them? Your cuts are really pretty..." 

I narrowed my eyes and pulled my arm away again. Turning away as I quickly pulled my sleeve  back down, "Stop that. I don't cut for you. They aren't something for you to admire."

He giggled softly, "Don't be silly. I know that already. That's not going to stop me from showing everyone though."

I leaned away when he leaned closer, avoiding eye contact.

"I wonder how your parents will react. You haven't told them, huh?"

"Of course I haven't, dumbass. Back off already." I pushed him away and winced when he grabbed my wrist. 

"Don't push me away, Kachaan. Remember what we were like before?" I tensed when he pulled me closer, "We can be like that again if you let me."

I glared at him slightly, "I thought you said you don't love me anymore."

He smirked softly, "I would be lying if I said I felt nothing for you. You were precious to me."

"I was your toy."

I winced when his grip on my wrist tightened even more. 

"A broken one. Why are you acting like this? No one but me would want something as damaged as you. You should be grateful I'm giving you a second chance."

I turned my head away when he leaned closer to my neck, "So don't run away from me this time..." 

"I'll run away as many times as it takes. I rather die than go through that again."

He sighed into my neck, "Alright... If you say so..." 

I started to relax, thinking he was finally going to leave me alone. 

I was wrong.

I grunted when I was shoved to the ground, "What the hell?!"

"You rather die right? I can make that happen, Kachaan. I'll make it slow and painful, just for you." He smiled down at me, "M'kay?" 

I froze and looked away. I tried pulling from the grasp he had on me, "N-No..."

"Hm?" He tilted his head slightly, "No? You don't want to die? I thought you rather die than be with me?"

I flinched when his hand wrapped around my neck. He squeezed it softly and rubbed down to my chest, "Maybe I should choke you out? I remember how much you hate messes... But you would like that too much, huh?"

"Stop... This is enough.."

"What's enough, Kachaan? Oh, am I getting you worked up? You were always so sensitive. Want me to take care of it?"

"Hell no. Get off of me already!"

He stopped and sighed, "You would say that a lot, too... I always had to gag you or else you wouldn't shut up." He hummed and giggled. He got off of me and picked up the untouched food, "Alright. I'll be taking my leave now."

I sat up slowly and touched my neck gently. I looked up at him and quickly looked down when he looked at me.

"Oh, right. Tell him what happened just now, I'll come back and finish the job."

I gulped and nodded, "O-Ok..."

"What was that?"

"Yes, sir..."

He smiled brightly, "That's more like it. Have a nice day."

I watched him leave and brought my knees to my chest, "Why do you have to be here...?"

I stayed there for a few minutes before standing up and making the bed. I held my stomach when it growled and sighed. I should have eaten more.

My legs felt weak and my head was still pounding. I felt like I was about to pass out. I sat down on the edge of the bed before that could happen and let out a sigh of relief when the aching in my calves went away.

I crawled onto the bed more and laid down on the far end. A few minutes couldn't hurt. I closed my eyes and hugged a pillow as I relaxed.

Sleep never came. All that came was a heavy blanket. It kept me trapped in bed even though I wasn't tired. It was warm and comforting, but the feeling made me start to cry. 

I covered my mouth to silence myself and held my head as it continued to pound. The tears were hot as they fell down my face and onto the pillow I was holding. 

The door opened and closed, but I didn't notice. It sounded like someone was talking to me. It sounded far away, like talking through a window. I couldn't make out the words. 

I felt the bed dip behind me and flinched at the feeling of fingers brushing against my cheek. I opened my eyes slowly and looked up at the owner. 

The blanket went away as I looked up at my captor, but the warmth stayed. He moved the hair out of my face and held my cheek gently, "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

I opened my mouth to answer before Dekus' voice echoed in my head. 

"Tell him what happened just now, I'll come back and finish the job."

I shook my head and leaned into his touch, desperate for the comfort he was giving. 

He sighed and nodded, "Alright... Did you eat?"

I shook my head again and sniffled, "Sorry..."

He narrowed his eyes slightly, "It's ok. Let's get you something to eat? What would you like?"

I looked away as I thought. I closed my eyes again and spoke softly, "Spicy curry....?"

He chuckled softly and nodded, "Sure... I'll get you some curry..."

He ran his hand through my hair and got up. I watched him as he made a phone call.

Why do I feel so safe around him? 

He's a monster.

He hung up the phone and looked at me. He smiled softly before turning away and sitting at his desk. 

I felt the heat in my face start to rise. I pulled up my sweatshirt to cover the pink tint and smiled to myself. 

Well, mabey not a monster.