All Of Me | A Jily Love Story

Chapter Eighteen: A Humerous, Hectic Halloween

- LILY -

As the weeks flew by the icy cold air of Hogwarts became increasingly frosty, our growing workload now almost unbearable. Classes were becoming more stressful as each day passed, the realisation that this was truly our last chance at academic success settling over the cohort of seventh years like a constant headache.
What with Heads duties, Quidditch practise, homework, the full moon, the daily prophet  - as well as writing weekly to keep my parents informed, it was becoming more and more difficult to please everyone.
Mum and Dad were fine, with Vermin and Petunia checking up and visiting often. They were cautious - nervous even, but fine. Both were aware that there was some sort of oncoming political war in my world, although I ensured to leave out the graphic specifics. There was truly no way to comprehend what was going on unless you were in the thick of it, and I didn't want to worry them with pointless information that would just make them want to take me out of Hogwarts. None of that would be worth it, in the end.
Something I found myself frequently pondering was the results of  James and I's amortentia in Potions. We got along better than I could have ever anticipated.
I often wondered what they things I loved most in the world would be, and if when the time came, they would surprise me at all.
Marlene and Sirius remained as annoyingly flirty as ever, sharing easy banter that often made me giggle when they weren't aware anyone else was listening. Remus was increasingly shy around Mary, who put up an extremely good front around him. Their denial was very frustrating to watch, especially when she refused to talk about it. Lately I noticed Peter's behaviour to be sporadic; some days he was comfortable around us, and others he was uptight and anxious, sitting silently in the corner. He'd disappeared for a few days without any explanation not long ago, to which James hadn't commented on every time I asked. Sometimes I caught him frowning at Peter with clouded over eyes, but when I made a point to speak about it, that same crooked grin spread across his cheeks and he changed the subject. Days passed before Peter confessed to Remus that his mother was sickly with concerning heart issues, and he wasn't taking it too well. I'd instantly felt guilty for questioning James, and wondered if secretly he'd known all along.
Now that Alice was no longer caught up in the drama of pining after Frank, I found her to be increasingly more present whenever I discussed the topic of Marlene and Sirius.
"I mean for crying out fucking loud," I was muttering to them in charms one blustery Wednesday afternoon. We were huddled at the front of class, pretending to take notes. "I could cut the bloody sexual tension with a knife."
"I wholeheartedly agree." Alice simpered sweetly, shooting Marlene a disdainful look. Her and Mary sighed in unison, exchanging an eye roll.
"I'm a lady of mystery." Marlene merely drawled, wriggling her brows. "What say you, Mary?"
"Get off it." She scowled, slamming her textbook shut. "I've enough pressure in my life. Besides, I don't even know how I'm feeling anymore."
I paused, exchanging a brief glance with Ali. She offered me a small shrug in answer, her eyes clouding with concern.
"Well this is brand new information." I commented lightly, scanning Mary's slightly anguished expression. "Are you alright?"
She hesitated, glancing up to our three curious faces.
"You know when you really, really fancy someone?" She asked quietly, averting her gaze and doodling on the corner of a piece of parchment. "Like, you didn't think it was possible to like a person this much."
Marlene grinned, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, definitely."
"I went through that with Diggory," I admitted grudgingly, wrinkling my nose. "When I was fourteen...how, I've no idea."
"I know the feeling Mar." Alice chuckled, most likely fawning over her gentleman of boyfriend. "Go on."
"Well..." She sighed, sliding a hand down the side of her face. "It was like that, for a while. The excitement when you catch their eye, the butterflies, the giggles, the exchanged smiles."
"And?" Ali pressed gently when she paused.
"And now," Mary grimaced, her shoulders slumping slightly. "It's kind of, just...I dunno. Fizzled out."
"Ah," Marlene nodded in understanding, patting her hand consolingly. "The fizzling out phase. When the pre relationship crush honeymoon part ends, and you're left with -"
"A friendship." Mary finished flatly.
"So the excitement's just not there, huh?" I asked curiously, studying her face.
"Not anymore." She corrected, shaking her head. "Oh, I don't know."
"If It makes you feel better," Marlene piped in. "I think we've all had a thing for Lupin at some point in our lives."
Mary snorted, pulling back. "Nice comfort, Marls."
"No, she's right." I said mildly, cocking my head as I delved into the depths of memory lane. "Those baby blue eyes and valiant scars really hit me beginning of fifth year. He's cute, who wouldn't like him?"
"Really?" Mary asked in surprise, looking from me to Marlene.
"I'm also guilty." Alice grinned sheepishly. "He got that cute haircut in third year and I had to take a step back for a quick minute. He's a gentle soul, isn't he?"
"Huh." Mary commented, staring down at the desk. "Well, now I feel kind of stupid."
"Aw, no!" Alice exclaimed, giving her arm a small squeeze. "Mar, love, you two are different. It was more for you, but that's okay if you're not feeling the same anymore."
"I'm not an awful person?" She asked doubtfully.
"Definitely, definitely not." Marlene replied firmly, emphasising each word. "These things happen."
"I get it, Mar." I said empathetically, a film of memories clicking away in my mind. "Happened to Benjy and I - we realised mutually that we're better off as friends, and that was that. Never harmed our friendship in the end."
"I thought you didn't like him?" Marlene asked with a slight snort. I glared at her.
"For completely different reasons. If he weren't such a knob, we'd still be mates. Rem isn't a knob, is he?"
"Well, no." She laughed sheepishly. "You're right, nevermind."
"You are right Lily," Mary said in what sounded like relief, letting her head roll back so that she was looking up at the ceiling. "Better off as friends...I could never ruin something like that. Godric I felt nervous admitting all this, but I should've known better. Of course you lot get it."
"It did take a snog for me and him to figure it out though," I added suggestively, kicking Marlene in the heel to stop from silently guffawing on Mar's other side. "Maybe you want to test your feelings? Give it a go?"
"I don't know if I should risk that." She mumbled, shaking her head. "It could blow up in my face. Imagine if something happened, but nothing changed about how I feel? 'Sorry, I know we just kissed, but I actually don't feel anything for you'."
"You think you'll talk to him?" Alice asked, glancing up to Flitwick and hurriedly pretending to scribble a sentence on household spells.
"Should do." Mary sighed in reply, rolling her head back over and slumping her cheek into her hand. "Unless we both kind of just leave it...I mean, we've never truly had that chat. It's just...I'm sad, you know? I see you and Sirius, Marls -" She glanced to her apologetically. "- And I'm so happy for you, truly I am, but Godric am I jealous. I want that, but I can't have it with him, and that really sucks." She covered her face with both hands, inhaling deeply. It was quiet for a moment as Mary's words sunk in.
"Aw, Mar." I reached out to rub her back comfortingly, giving her shoulder a small squeeze. "That sounds really tough. I'm sorry that you have to go through that."
"I'm sorry too." Marlene mumbled, leaning her head upon Mary's shoulder. "I just want you to be happy, Mar. Maybe this isn't the right time, or maybe you just realised that he doesn't do it for you."
"I dunno." She grumbled in reply, snaking her arms around the two of us. "Thanks though. Didn't mean to be all doom and gloom on you."
"Oh, shush." Alice waved a dismissive hand, inching her chair closer to mine so she could get in on the huddle. "Your feelings deserve validation. We're here for you Mar, Remus or no Remus. I'm really sorry things haven't worked out."
"Someone will come along." I beamed, giving her a little nudge.
"Come on, its Halloween on Friday!" Marlene grinned, wriggling her eyebrows. "Party in the common room with dozens of hot boys!"
Mary's mouth twitched.
"Where the supply of wine is endless." I added, dipping my quil into the shared ink pot between us.
"I could do with a wine." She confessed with a small grin.
"Eh, there she is." Alice laughed, looking up from our clustered huddle. "I thi -" She cut off with a muttered curse. "Twelve O'clock."
The four of us glanced upwards to see Flitwick raising a single skeptical eyebrow, his dark eyes narrowing slightly.
"Oh shit." I muttered out of the corner of my mouth, hastily dotting an overlarge bullet point on my piece of worn parchment.
"Go to your own desk," Mary hissed when Marlene attempted to steal some of her parchment, trying and failing to stifle a laugh.
"Ladies."
The four of us looked up guiltily, meeting the eyes of the most understanding teacher Hogwarts had to offer.
"Come now," He said a little impatiently, giving us a knowing look. "Headgirl, Miss. Evans?"
"I've already written my notes, sir." I flashed him a grin, gesturing to the sheafs of parchment before me. "Don't you worry about me."
"Yes, well." His mouth twitched. "I cannot say the same for your friends, my dear."
Marlene, Mar and Ali snorted in unison, hurriedly attempting to stifle their laughs as he bounced off to the next desk.
"D'you think he'd say yes if I proposed?" Mary asked, yanking a chunk of parchment towards her. "The amount of times he's saved my arse is uncountable. Come on then, let's get this done with."
"Yeah, alright." Alice agreed with a heaving sigh. Marlene glanced between the two of them in disbelief, before rolling her eyes and dragging her chair across the floor to make an unpleasant squeaking noise.
"Enjoy." She grinned, saluting proudly before swaggering her way across the classroom towards the boys table, where it looked as though Sirius was experimenting with fire on Peter's hair.
"That is one bad combination." I winced, a loud bang and high pitched yelp filling the classroom as I turned away.