What would you do for the person you loved? Would you denounce everything you stood for? Would you stand against the most powerful darkness in the galaxy? This is the story of Ben and Rey, sworn enemies brought together by the Force, but united b...
Ben enters my dwelling cautiously taking in all the details. Unsure if he is nervous about being in such a homey environment or being with me, I push against his mind ever so slightly, but it is sealed shut.
His face looks troubled. With a furrowed brow, he presses his lips together.
What kind of business did he perform while on his ship? Does it involve receiving bad news?
As my heart rate elevates, he reaches into a bag and brings out a bottle of burgundy-colored liquid. "I thought you may like to try drinking something besides water."
Pouring some of the drink into my cup, he settles himself in the chair across the table. The sweet drink burns going down my throat causing me to sputter. A slight smirk flashes across Ben's face, then returns to his usual brooding stare. I forget all about my initial worry as I feel my insides warming.
"What is this stuff?"
"It's made from the Canolese fruit grown in the vineyards of Naboo," he answers.
Hearing of the power of fermented fruit, this concoction is not what I expected. After only one mouthful, I am feeling my nose tingle. I decide to sip the drink very slowly.
We eat our reconstituted food in silence. Something heavy hangs between us and I cannot help reflecting on what happened today. By the blank stare on Ben's face, he is deep in thought about something as well.
The fire before us crackled, reminding me of the night on Ahch-To so many months ago, when I sought Ben out through the Force-bond. That was the night we touched. That was the night my compassion for Ben roared to life. That was the night I found out about Luke's transgression against Ben. He was fighting Snoke and the rising darkness within him. Luke made the horrible assumption of not believing Ben had the strength to defeat them. Pushing him right into Snoke's arms, that was the night everything changed.
We were all a product of our environment and our experiences. Me with my years spent on Jakku in the heat and with a pang of constant hunger in my belly. Curling up at night on the hard metal floor of the AT-AT I called home, using a pile of gritty sand as a pillow—always alone. Ben with his many nights spent in solitude or with servants because his parents were away. Lying in a soft bed with a full belly, and being constantly reminded by Snoke what a disappointment his parents thought he was.
Wait, these are not my thoughts.
Then, I realize Ben and I have been reflecting on our childhoods together. Our thoughts are intertwined, reliving each other's memories. The doleful look he gives me now conveys he is experiencing my pitiful childhood raising myself on a trash planet. He sees me shaking uncontrollably with my teeth chattering from the sometimes bitter cold of the desert at night. He watches me dig in the waste receptacle outside of a seedy establishment hoping someone has thrown away a morsel of food. He witnesses me being violated by a man who pretends to be my friend. On and on it goes. His eyes begin glistening.
Are those really unshed tears? It can't be. Can it?
He blinks rapidly a few times to dispel the moisture and the shine disappears, back to wearing Kylo Ren's cold face. Standing up, he does something very uncharacteristic. Walking over to my bed, he pulls the blanket off, and wraps me tightly in it like he is comforting that little girl back on Jakku. Looking into his dark eyes, I see something besides coldness, besides anger. I see compassion.
On impulse, I reach up and grab his hand. Starbursts explode behind my eyes, and I feel him stagger. A sharp pain penetrates my chest and the string between us shortens again. Ben moves his hand. I think he is pulling away when he surprises me by interlacing his fingers with mine. We stay this way for a while, both contemplating on what has transpired. After a few minutes, Ben quietly excuses himself, and goes back to his ship.
It is working. I can feel the light in him growing stronger, but what is it doing to me? The emotions I feel for this man I should hate does not make sense. It is all so confusing.
I sleep fitfully tonight. My dreams are full of a raven-haired boy running from something as fast as he can. I can feel the boy's terror and see him beginning to slow down as his muscles reach exhaustion. His little legs are pumping up and down, and getting nowhere. He will soon be overtaken by the darkness chasing him. Just then, a light appears on the horizon. As the boy draws closer, he sees a little brown-haired girl standing on a hill of sand, waving at him. Too late though, the darkness has caught up and swallows the boy whole.
I startle awake, sweat covering my body. It is past my usual time to get up. Listening for Ben's lightsaber humming through the air outside, I hear nothing and panic. Did he leave? Was last night too overwhelming for him? Rushing to the door, I find his ship still there, a hulking black mass looming over the green landscape like a predator. I exhale a sigh of relief only to be replaced by a lump in my stomach.
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BEN
I become too overwhelmed by emotions I haven't felt in years and abruptly leave the hut. This scavenger girl has lived a miserable existence most of her life, but still manages to hold onto her light. She is stronger than me, more deserving of being a part of a dyad.
Why did the Force choose to attach her to me? Has she not seen enough wretchedness in her short life? How can I not drag her down into my darkness.
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