It's easy to look at love and and admire it. You'd dreamt about it your whole life, but nothing could have prepared you for the side effects of it, for the fragility of breaking and for the angst of falling.
Around you, even when you hadn't noticed...
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It was worse than you expected; the feeling. As if you were going insane because somehow being away from Jimin, by choice yet by obligation, was driving you mad. It was necessary to stay away from him. In your mind there was no question about how what you were doing now, limiting yourself from his company and the sound of his sweet voice, would benefit you in the long run. You'd seen an ugly side of Jimin, but it was also a human side, it was that it had come so fast and out of nowhere that upset you. You wanted to take time alone. To think. To act. If you didn't, you were afraid you'd lose the boy for far longer than you wished. Maybe forever.
The only person to ever make you feel that kind of tender love. To give you a sense of comfort, as if time had stopped just for the two of you, to make you think things in a way that would be good for two, and never let you go even if it hurt. Sometimes having to wait made you suffer the most. You'd asked him to wait. Wether he did or not would be an important criteria when you went back to him.
You were wishing that could be now. That second. You would stand outside his door, smile painted on your face, and he would open up, all groggy with messy morning hair, and you would jump into his arms and stay there for as long as he could hold you.
But you couldn't.
So, you took a deep breath, trying to stop your mind from opening the Jimin file, and opened the door to the small library you worked at.
Changho would return next week. That meant you needed to sort everything out by Sunday. It was Tuesday. Waiting for you were unshelved books, cardboard boxes with new bookcases waiting to be built, and a pile of paperwork for you to go through. You had to check the sales, the orders and the books that had been borrowed. You had along day ahead.
Huffing loudly, you placed your pipping hot coffee on the desk and popped yourself onto the chair, putting your earphones in and playing one of your playlists.
You'd asked Clara to come by at around ten, but you still wanted to get as much work as you could done. So you started with the papers that sat on the floor next to the desk.
It wasn't pleasant. If it weren't for the catchy tune in your ears and the smell of paint that came off the walls, you weren't sure if you could handle being there any longer.
All the days were starting to blend in.
Work, work, work. That was your first and last priority, but you told yourself you had to last one more week. All of it would be over soon.
Soon. You thought. It was a tricky word. It signalled to time while giving nothing away. It was vague and unpromissing. Soon could be so close, but it could also be so far away. You didn't like soon, but it was all you had. Truthfully, you didn't know when soon would be either, but you prayed it was close.
“Hello” You saw a hand waving infront of your face, and looked up to see a staggering blonde.
You took your earphones out. “Goodmorning Clara”.
The girl took the place in, a look of concern on her face. There was alot to do, and you weren't sure the two of you could get it done on time. You would try. Blood, sweat and tears in, you would do whatever you could so that Changho could return to a renewed and beautiful store.
“So...” She rubbed her palms together. “Where do we start?”.
You looked around, baffled and misplaced as you felt, trying to remember everything you had to do.
“We can start by putting the bookcases together”.
Nearing noon, you'd managed to put all twenty bookcases together and categorized a few of the books into piles while still accepting customers.
The bell at the door rung.
“I'll go” You said, seeing that Clara was carrying books in her hands.
Head down, you walked to the counter and grabbed a list from the desk. “How may I help you?” You asked. When you finally looked up, you saw a very familiar blue haired boy who looked at you with a certain spark in his eye.
He handed a book over to you.
“Return?” You swallowed hardly.
The boy nodded. “Hey, Sooyun?”. You didn't answer, but the boy continued speaking. “Don't break his heart”.
You looked up at him, and your heart skipped a bit.
“Jimin” He paused, gazes melting into eachothers. “Don't hurt him”.
“Yoongi-”.
“You don’t have to be with him, just let him go easily if you have to okay?”.
You felt it at the bottom of your throat, this devestating feeling. What he'd said, it had hit hard, right at the heart. It pierced through it like metal.
“I won't” You answered, voice breaking.
Yoongi gave you a small smile. “Promise?”. He put his pinky out.
You tangled yours with his. “I promise”.
The boy signed the paper infront of him.
He turned around to leave, but you stopped him.
“Yoongi” You spoke lowly. “How is he?”.
The boy didn't speak, but you could see it in his eyes. He wasn't going to say, but the feeling he left behind was unsettling.
“Maybe you should ask him yourself” He spoke, leaving the store, and you, standing there with a bitter taste on your lips.
