Chapter 31: Flipping the Script

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Kim sat aboard her specially-arranged private jet, furiously flipping through the pages of the script Ram had left on the plane for her. Rani had been right--Kim was definitely the villain in this movie. 

Rani had the main role, the young starlet who suddenly finds herself on a meteoric rise to fame. Other Kim would play Rani’s mentor, a SLIGHTLY older but infinitely wiser and still beautiful and talented celebrity, who randomly runs into Rani on the street and then takes her under her wing. And Kim was 100% playing the Willow Pape character, who after a small misunderstanding, feels threatened and jealous of Rani, and uses all her dark energy to try to bring about Rani’s destruction. 

It was all very true to life. But so annoying! Why did she have to be the Willow?

“So, how do you like my plane?” a deep voice purred from over Kim’s shoulder. 

Kim flung he script down and turned to see a ruggedly handsome and mustachioed pilot winking down at her. 

“What. What do you want. Speak, male,” Kim said. She was not in the mood.

“Nothing like flying in style, am I right?” the pilot said. It was like his words were dipped in honey and it was incredibly irksome. 

“Ram wanted me to make sure you get the white glove treatment,” he continued. “So let me know if there’s anything--” (and here his eyes traveled suggestively over Kim’s body) “--you need.”

“Oh, gross,” Kim said. “Look, I get it. Ram arranges the plane ride, I’m soooo impressed that I decide I can’t fly any other way, so I rush out to buy my own plane, probably from a company that Ram partially owns? Am I right?” The pilot’s cheeks went red as he attempted to mumble a response. “Yeah, I super don’t care,” Kim said. “Don’t you have a plane to fly? Go back to your cockpit and grab your joystick or whatever.”

“But don’t you hate waiting in line at airports?” the pilots asked. “And wandering around looking for your gate? I’m offering you a better way to travel, a chance at a simpler, less stressful life.”

“No man has ever made my life less stressful,” Kim said. “And I don’t wait in lines and wander around, I’m Kim Kardashian, I can bend all space and time with only my phone. I can get wherever I want using the Globe + Rocket emoji. I only agreed to this plane ride because I don’t want to offend Ram and I need time to read the script. Time which you are cutting into with your thinly-veiled business chatter. Now go, be gone, before I buy this plane just to crash it and put you out of a job.”

The pilot, choking back tears, ran back to the cabin.

“And send someone around with the drinks cart!” Kim yelled after him.

She probably should’t have been so mean to him. He was just doing his job, as sexy male pilots are wont to do. She was just upset about this movie situation. Why did she have to be the villain? This was terrible. She was just taking her frustration out on him. On the other hand, it had felt kind of amazing. 

Maybe she was just getting into character? Yes. That was it. She was just getting into character. 

Other Kim had known his would be a good role for her. Okay, yes, playing the villian wasn’t her initial favorite idea, but it was just acting. It would be a good role for her, leading to many other roles. She had to trust Other Kim’s judgment. It hadn’t steered her wrong yet.

Kim sat back and picked up the script where she’d left off. The sun was exploding up over the horizon as the plane screamed across the sky.

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