Chapter 34: Back to Bollywood

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Kim’s phone rang early the next morning, waking her from a dream about a different life, one where she didn’t live alone with a dog named Callum Woof, but where she had a daughter and sisters and half-sisters and an overbearing mom and life was loud and crazy and full and fun. And her husband, her incredibly talented and handsome and powerful warlock husband was trying to tell her something important, something she couldn’t quite make out. But it was gone, the dream dissipating as she climbed her way out from under the comforters to find her insistent phone.

It was Maria.

“Hi Maria, what’s up?” Kim said, trying to sound more cheerful than groggy. 

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN BOLLYWOOD?” Maria yelled, causing Kim to quickly jerk the phone away from her ear.

“Umm. Nothing?” She sat up in bed, pushing Callum Woof off of her body. Something was going on and she needed to focus. “I filmed my scenes, went to the after party and came home?”

“Social media is blowing up. There is video footage of you being Queen Bitch of The Universe. You’re yelling and screaming and saying horrible things? What is going on? This isn’t like you at all and the media is tearing you apart.”

“Wait, what? Hang on.”

Kim turned on her TV and saw grainy, unedited footage of a person who was clearly her, slapping Rani Khosla across the face, knocking her down, and then dragging her across the floor by her hair.

“What the HELL Kim, you cannot behave like this! This is incredibly off-brand! You’re hemorrhaging followers!”

“Hang on, this look familiar,” Kim said.

The scene changed and then Kim was picking up a large white vase and hurling it across the room at Other Kim, where it missed her face by centimeters, shattering against a wall.


“No!” Kim said defensively. “Well I mean yeah, but no! This is footage from The Big Wish! These are my scenes! I was acting! I was pretending I was Willow Pape!”

“The movie. You played a villain in the movie,” Maria said, the picture starting to come into focus. “But that doesn’t come out for weeks. Someone must have leaked the footage.”

“Exactly! And obviously taken out of context like this it looks somewhat bad.”

“It doesn’t LOOK bad, it IS bad,” Maria said.

“Can I just say that one) this is a testament to my acting ability, and two) that I did not want to play a villain, this whole arc has been extremely sus from Scene 1. Someone is setting me up. Willow. Willow was in New Delhi.”

“Maybe, but she wouldn’t have had access to Ram’s studio. That place has more security and enchantment barriers than Katy Perry’s underground lair. I don’t know who leaked this footage or why but you need to figure out what’s going on and fix this. I can do a little bit to spin the message and create an your aura that will slow your descent back to the C-List, but you need to get to the bottom of what’s going on and stop it at the source. Go back to Bollywood, figure out how this footage got out, why they did it, and bring the truth to light. We need to alter this narrative.”

“And make them pay dearly for their trespasses against me,” Kim added.

“Well duh obviously,” Maria said. 

“Thank you Maria. I will not let you down. I’ve got it, I’m gone.”

Kim hung up and rose from bed. She swiped the the Dress emoji and her closet doors exploded open. A pair of ripped jeans and boots and a cute top came flying out and swooped themselves onto her body as her makeup floated up into place and her hair quickly transformed from bedhead to perfect messy bun. 

She looked back at her bed, where Callum Woof was staring up at her. “I’m sorry honey. Mommy has to go kill Willow Pape but we’ll go the park later, okay? Okay???” Callum leaned hungrily into her scratches and seemed satisfied.

Kim turned to face the doorway. She hit the Globe + Rocket emoji, took a step forward, and was in New Delhi.

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