Chapter 03: Other Kim

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Kim stood by the door, watching this woman, this Other Kim Kardashian, wander around So Chic, flipping quickly through the dress racks. 

Kim was not 100% sure what emotions she was experiencing, exactly, but Completely Freaking Out was one of them. How could there be another Kim Kardashian? And why was Other Kim Kardashian acting like it wasn’t even weird that there were two of them?

“Thanks again for opening the store back up for me,” Other Kim said, looking up. “I need something cute and super quick.”

Kim didn’t respond. She was looking at Other Kim’s head. Kim’s head wasn’t really that big, relative to her body, was it? Because although this person wandering around the store, was very definitely Kim Kardashian, the longer Kim looked at her, the more creeped out she was. Other Kim looked...off, somehow. Not really real. And definitely too skinny? Kim glanced at herself in a nearby full-length mirror. Curvy and amazing. Like, SUPER amazing. She got caught up admiring herself and was startled when Other Kim cleared her throat to get her attention.

“So can you help me find something?” Other Kim asked, smiling.

Without even hesitating, Kim reached into the nearest rack and pulled out two random dresses--a silver one and a red one.

“How about one of these?” Kim asked. It was like she couldn’t help but obey the sound of her own honeyed voice. This Other Kim might be an idealized and slightly creepy version of herself, but she was still Kim Kardashian, and when Kim Kardashian wants something you stop whatever you are doing and get it for her. Even if you are also Kim Kardashian.

“Those are great!” Other Kim said. “Which one do you like?”

Kim couldn’t imagine how it could possible matter which dress she chose. She would look amazing no matter what. Wait, was she attracted to herself? She was incredibly hot, after all. Kim had to admit she’d fantasized about being with herself--wait, never mind, she thought, shaking the image from her head. 

“The silver one?” Kim guessed.

“YES, I love it,” Other Kim said. “It’s perfect and you’re amazing. How much do I owe you?”

Kim had no idea. “Nothing? Just take it.”

Other Kim laughed. “You are hilarious! I love you! We should hang out.”

“You want to hang out with me?” Kim asked. 

“Definitely! I’m on my way to a photo shoot. You should come! Just wear something nicer.”

“Wait, you don’t like my outfit?” Kim asked. Why would Other Kim not like her outfit?

“Wear something nicer! Go home and look in your closet for a dress.”

“OK. Is this a joke?” Kim asked. “This is a joke, right? Someone’s trying to freak me out? Who are you really? Did Kourtney hire you to impersonate me or something?”

Other Kim smiled. “I’m Kim! Did I not introduce myself? I’m like crazed, I’m on my way to this photo shoot. You should come! Wear a dress!”

“You already said that.”

Other Kim just stood there, smiling.

“You need to tell me what’s going on,” Kim said, her voice starting to break. Her hands were shaking and the room was suddenly incredibly hot. “You need to tell me how there can be two of us. Who is doing this to me?”

“So I’ll see you at the photo shoot?” Other Kim replied, smiling. “You’ll look in your closet and find a dress?”

“No,” Kim said, her voice rising. “I’m not going to the photo shoot. I’m not wearing a dress. And I’m not letting you out of this shop until you tell me what’s going on. Why can’t I remember how I got here? And how can there be two of us? And why does everyone have exclamation points hanging from their mouths?”

“You should come to the photo shoot,” Other Kim said.

“I don’t care about your stupid photo shoot!” Kim yelled. 

A storm cloud suddenly appeared over Other Kim’s head. 

“Holy crap,” Kim said, stumbling backwards and knocking over a mannequin.

“I am going to a photo shoot,” Other Kim said, no longer smiling. “You should have come to the photo shoot. You should worn something nicer. You should have looked in your closet and found a dress. I will not hand hug you.” And then the storm cloud grew, and there was a flash of lightning, and Other Kim was gone. 

Kim stared at the space where Other Kim had been standing. Her hands were still shaking. She couldn’t stop. She was crying and she couldn’t stop shaking. She had to get out of this store. 

She opened the door and tumbled out onto the sidewalk and fell against a fire hydrant. The second she touched it, a stack of money came flying out of it and skittered away into the street. 

She just sat there on the ground, looking at the money. She was crazy. None of this was real. That was the only thing that made sense. Something terrible had happened and she had lost her mind. Any second someone would find her and take her home and give her the medications she needed and everything would be fine. Everything would be fine. She would just wait right here for someone to find her. 

Kim knelt on the sidewalk and kept touching the fire hydrant to see if more money would come out. She kept pressing it and pressing it and pressing it. After a few minutes more money came out. 

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