Chapter 08: Slide Out Of My Mentions

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Kim’s phone buzzed and she saw that it was Other Kim. She answered it immediately. 

“Hey, I heard the good news about Simon signing you,” Other Kim said. “You’ll like working with him. We worked together in the past and it was great.”

In the past? Kim wondered what that meant. Why had Other Kim stopped working with him? She realized she had been silent for too long. She was not holding up her end of the conversation. It was so weird how people actually used their phones for talking in this world.

“Yes, thank you, I am feeling excitement,” Kim said, to have something to say. 

“I can take you out to lunch to celebrate,” Other Kim said. “Why don’t you drop by my place first, and then we’ll go to Panino in Beverly Hills?” 

This sounded excellent to Kim and she said so into her phone. 

Kim took the Metro to Beverly Hills. As soon as she exited she was confronted by a grim, balding skeleton of a man with a camera. 

“Hey you!” the man shouted at her.

How dare this gross man shout at her on the street? Was she some commoner?

“Who are you,” Kim demanded.

“Lon Garerra,” the man said. “But that’s not important. I wanna know who you are. I saw you at the Brew Palms. You apparently know Kim Kardashian and I saw you arguing with Willow Pape.” 

Yet another man, shouting at her, making demands of her. Answer the phone, change your outfit, take a break, check the negatives. She would burn this entire world to the ground if it was the last thing she ever did. 

She wanted to ignore him and simply walk away. She could see Kim’s mansion not two doors away, in between the sandwich shop and the invisible wall that kept her from traveling any further.

But Lon kept talking to her. “Willow seemed pretty upset last night. I guess you two aren’t on the best of terms?”

“Your questions do not interest me,” Kim said.

“That’s weird because she’s going off about you and Kim on social media. Anyways bye I’m on to more important people.”

Kim tried to quell the terrible rage that rose up inside her. Why had this man slid into her mentions with this conversation. Just to make her day worse? Kim already knew Willow Pape was a bitch, why did this pathetic male think she needed reminding? He could have just had his opinion and kept it to himself, but no, he had to share it and make it her problem.

Adding Lon Garerra to her mental list of people she would maim and torture once she leveled up and attained more powers, Kim continued on to Other Kim’s gracious mansion

“WHO IS WILLOW PAPE,” Other Kim demanded the moment Kim walked through the door. “Is that the crazy girl that yelled at you the other night? Oh my god. Have you seen what she’s been saying about you and me? It’s DISRESPECTFUL.”

“Um,” Kim said. This was interesting. Why would Other Kim care about Willow Pape? Surely she had experienced haters in life before? Willow Pape was Kim’s arch nemesis, and her problem. She accepted and understood this. But Other Kim, with her status and level, should have bigger problems to worry about than some ordinary D-list blonde. Somehow this confirmed Kim’s sense that Willow Pape was the central demon of this entire world, and killing her would solve a lot of problems for everyone .

“We need to do something,” Other Kim said.

“I completely agree,” Kim said. “We need to steal something very personal of hers. A lock of hair if we can get it, but even her lipstick might work. Then we’ll need some sage and purslane and vinegar so we can cast a binding spell.”

“You need a publicist,” Other Kim said.

“Um no I need five black candles and some tourmaline,” Kim said. "Is there an herbiary or a sacred supplies shop you can point me to? I haven't found one yet in my travels here." 

Other Kim nodded. “Simon can help you find a publicist,” she continued. “Having someone to handle that stuff will be useful. You have his number, right?”

Kim took out her phone and held it up to Other Kim. It was buzzing, Simon’s face filling up the screen.

Other Kim curled her lip.

“That’s the third time he’s called DURING THIS CONVERSATION,” Kim said.

Other Kim sighed heavily and shook her head. “Ugh, I know.”

“Like, I can’t,” Kim said.

“I know,” Other Kim said. 

“Like I just can’t,” Kim said.

“I know,” Other Kim said. 

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