7. Inner conflict

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Tears stung my eyes. And I let them just as my head fall. I tried seeing the good in this place, but I have found none. Not even Mrs Jane was being honest about her actions.

I had hoped for just a hint of understanding. Just a little bit of trust, from anyone but no. No one here deems me worthy of even that.

I wiped my face furiously with my sleeve trying to hide my crying. It wasn't the time for a breakdown. Not now, not here, not in front of him.

But the tears wouldn't stop coming. I trembled through silent sobs as they slowly grew louder. Keep it together!

*the Crimson Kings POV*

During her punishment days, I felt guilt during every meal I ate. It was messing with me. Even my hunger subsided. Everyday criminal Lyrians rot in my dungeons and I couldn't care less, if they starved to death. So why was this little disobedient girl bringing me out of my daily routine? It made me mad.

What made it worse was that I had practically planned her hanging. I was sure that she wasn't my mate and that the mark must've been a fake. But according to Mrs Jane there was no other mark anywhere on her body.

When she told me I almost flipped my desk over.

I refuse to accept a Lyrian as my mated.

And now here she was, looking thin and fragile after three days of starvation, wiping her face, trying to hide her crying. How naive must one be to trust the first smiling face that comes walking by.

I waited for her crying to cool down, but it didn't. She can't hold it.
I let out an annoyed sound without thought.

She thought I wanted to rape her. I've done my fair share of gruesome things but this I had not. And I wasn't planing on it.

She must have thought I was living up to my expectations.
Her almost silent sobs were echoing in my ears. It was frustrating.

I walked over to her. I just wanted her to stop crying. She turned away almost immediately, and forcefully tried to calm her crying. She was visibly shaking now. Now she's scared too.
Fuck. I can't bare this. I felt like I was going mad.

This wasn't working, so I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the entrance doors. She let out an audible gasp and her sobbing turned louder as she tried to pull her hand out of mine only making me grip her tighter.

I pushed to doors open and pulled her along the long hallway towards the stairs.

I looked back, her tears are clouding her fearful eyes searching for answers. I broke our eye contact quickly and hurried down the stairs.  Ugh. I can't stand this. She grips my hand with her free one to try and get herself out of my grip, to no avail.

I pull her along and open the last dark door before stepping outside with her into the sunlight. I take in the castles rose gardens. I loosed my grip and tilt my head towards the sun. It always calmed me. The warmth of the sun stroked my face, it reminded me of my childhood.

A few minute passed and I awoke out of my relaxed state no longer hearing Alice's sobs. I looked to my side not finding the girl. Furiously I turned and searched for her. That little brat.

Until I saw her.


She had sat about 6 feet away from me, in the grass. Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted towards the sun just as mine was just now.

I relaxed my muscles.

So she didn't try to run, huh? Not like she would have gotten far anyways.

A soft spring breeze flowed by us. The sun was drying her tears.

For the first time I take a good look at my supposed soulmate. She was breathtaking. Her dark lashes where covering her now closed eyes and her long brown hair flowed lightly in the wind stroking her face ever so lightly. Her plump lips where no longer quivering and her cheeks where slowly turning pinkish again.

I subconsciously walk over to a bench just a few meters away, never taking my eyes of her. She seemed to be enjoying the sunlight. Like it had washed away all of her worries and tears for just a moment just as mine.

"Hear my words, little brat. Lyria will always win. We will always be stronger than Walzenor!" An evil grin was plastered across the mans face.

Tears stream down my cheeks. "I'll make you pay for this. I'll kill every last one of you!" I scream as I'm picked  up painfully by the throat.

"Well well well, is that so?" He smirks at me closing in his hand on my throat.

"Fu-Fuck you.." is the last thing I say before my vision goes black and I'm forcefully thrown into the darkness.

I shake my head enraged, get up and walk over to Alice. I stare down on her, as she hasn't noticed me standing there.

"Get up! Now!" I yell.

She jumps in shock and stares up at me. Fucking typical. They never obey, do they. But this time I'm not repeating myself. I grab a fist full of her hair and pull her up as she whimpers in pain.

Every cell in my body would love to strangle her to death, so I try to compose myself.

Breathe. For fucks sake breathe.

She trembles and her eyes well up again.

"Fucking pathetic," I mumble und drag her back towards to door to the castle.

I call for the guard, which come running immediately and tell them to take her away.

I push her towards them and she trips and lands on the cobble floor.

"Get her the fuck out of my sight!" I shout and the guards grab her by the arms and drag her up the stairs not waiting for her to compose herself.

She's getting what she wants. I empathized with her. Fuck this.

I hate her, and I know she's bound to be planning something.

I turn toward the stone wall and punch it repeatedly, until my knuckles bleed.

I. Will. Not. Be. Fooled.


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