Decadence Hackneyed

E: Gazing Too Far: As an Aries Sun

   Since I’m waiting on my sister to get back from whatever it is she’s doing I’ll retreat to this book. I am an Aries Sun. I also realize that I didn’t source the other two parts. Well, I find the source and go back to it. At the moment I’m looking at post that ZodiacCity wrote on Tumblr. Truthfully this book is nothing more than me entertaining myself.

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  Aries are really…

  -a sweetheart underneath their strong personality

  -scared of being alone, which is why they often rely on others

  -not trying to come off pushy or mean, they are naturally aggressive

  -fun to be around, even in pessimistic situations

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  I try. Truthfully but I’m aggressive. What I mean is meant because why should I say something when I don’t mean it? I’m not good with this guessing game. Especially when it comes to some women. When I say, “You look beautiful regardless of your size.” They always throw their hands up in denial. “No! You’re just saying that because you want me to feel better about myself.”

  Well, yes. I am saying it so you think higher of yourself but no I’m not saying it out of pity. I’m saying out of confusion. How can you not tell that you’re beautiful? Look in the mirror. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. It matters how you treat other people. I try not to get angry when people accuse me of saying something that I don’t mean but I can’t help it. I am raised as an American so I can say what I want when I want. Culturally. That’s the worst sentence that can come out of my Filipino mouth but I’m serious. At least I mean what I say.

  For the most part. I try not to think about it. Lately though, I have felt abandoned. Matrina went on a trip with Skyler and a few other friends of ours that we knew really well. I wasn’t invited. It was frustrating. Then, Xavire kept disappearing on me. I knew he was with Bennett but that’s what angered me. When I don’t know if someone is going to come home or where a certain person is that I care about then I freak. It depends on what day it is really. I’ve never had connection with Lily but when I was with Boni and she disappeared for a week I freaked out. It happened with Skyler once too. I have a fear of being alone but normally I make new friends or catch up with other friends to try and feel the gap.

  Matrina and I have had a lot of conversations. Half the time I try tobe sensitive but for the most part since she can’t control her aggressive side either I don’t bother. When she wants to know the answer to a question I answer it with all honesty. Sometimes she has to take a second to make sure she heard me right. My honesty can get the best of me but I don’t see why it’s so hard to tell the truth. Especially because lying hurts worse.

  Pessimistic situations aren’t my favorite but then again whose favorite are they? Right. I know someone never mind. But for the most part I try to do what I can for people in situations that seem hopeless. After all, there’s always an optimistic view of them.

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  Aries wants the kind of relationship that allows them to tap into all kinds of feelings and emotions. They want to feel joy, sadness, happiness, anger, everything—because this is a realistic and what relationships are made of. Aries can be highly dependant on affections of those close to them so they need someone stable. Aries likes adventure and being able to try new things and wants a partner who makes new things fun.