My Real Diary

January 7 + Sleep Paralysis

Last night was the worst night of my life. I'm staying at my mom's till tomorrow and Jack is staying at his grandparent's house because he has court. I experienced the worst sleep paralysis I ever have. I fell asleep around 11:40 and some time later heard "my aunt" in my mom's room down the hall. I had a vague knowledge that I was dreaming but it felt so real. She was the only other one in the house and was arguing on the phone with her husband. I heard another woman's voice shortly after saying "let me in you" over and over, and then I was being thrown around the room like a rag doll. It was horrible. I could "hear" Sunny crying and crawling around even though she wasn't but I couldn't do anything about it because every time I got close to her I would be thrown back. I finally woke up after a very long time of this and Sunny was still asleep. I don't remember falling asleep again but I did eventually and just remembered waking up again, covered in sweat. Sunny woke up for real and once I put her to sleep I felt myself drifting off again. I tried keeping my eyes open and praying silently, but someone else was doing it for me. Another woman again, her voice was in my head. She was praying but not the way I do. For example I say "Dear heavenly Father..." This other voice was saying "Father God in heaven..." and almost talking over me so I wouldn't be able to think. It was so weird and I am not sure if it was reality or if I was asleep and dreaming because I fought so hard to stay awake. The next thing I remember was being so scared that I tried to text my mom to come help me but when I grabbed my phone it was dead. Then I woke up. Then that same thing happened literally like 10 times. I though I was awake so I reached for my phone and either it was dead or I woke up before she came in.
The last time, I reached to my phone and it was dead, but there was another phone on the bed and it was ringing. The song sounded like a real song with a lady singing but it wasn't familiar. I picked it up to answer it but told myself not to do it. Instead, I grabbed Sunny and stumbled into my mom's room. I called for her and she woke up and I said "help me!" Only no noise came out because I was actually trying to call for help in my sleep. She got up and ran to me and I fell against the wall. I was trying to scream and explain what was happening. Even in my sleep I was trying to tell her I was having a nightmare but no noise came out. Finally I screamed, "Wake me up! Wake me up!" And her eyes glossed over and she started leaning toward me, trying to go through me.
I woke up for real that time, terrified. I picked up my phone, which wasn't dead, and actually typed to my mom "if you are awake come here" but I didn't send it. I texted Jack just to tell him what was happening but he was asleep. It was like 1:40am, the had gone on for 2 hours. I kept myself awake for a solid 15 minutes then decided to try to sleep. I began praying again but was drifting off to sleep. In my mind's eye, I saw a magic pen writing down my prayer on paper rolling it up. The paper began to float toward the sky but it was grabbed by a cloud with insect-like legs. I said in my head "That's not what God's hands look like." It replied "It's what our god's hands look like and I opened my eyes and finished praying. Fell asleep fine until about 9am.
Last night was the most terrifying experience ever. Sleep paralysis is very talked about and has no real explanation. It felt so real and even though it wasn't, I know one thing for sure. An outside influence brought it upon me. I truly believe some type of demonic entity was trying to gain access to my soul and as crazy as it sounds, call it what you want. A woman's voice saying "let me in" then praying over me, then (possibly) calling me on that mysterious phone, my "mom" trying to go through me or, possibly, into me. Then something trying to "steal" my prayer? I couldn't stay awake no matter how hard I tried and fought to stay up. Something wanted me asleep, and weak, vulnerable. I don't know. That's my theory. I don't care if it sounds crazy or made up and I don't know why I'm writing it here, I just felt like I needed to get this out there.