My Real Diary

October 13

     I'm missing the old days lately. When I was best friends with Kasey and we hung out all the time and has the best time ever doing nothing. When we first met in September of 2011 and didn't like each other, but were forced to do a project together in history and soon became inseprable. She reminds me of Halloween. Of orange and yellow leaves falling. She reminds me of the clear blue summer sky and sitting together at the skatepark. She reminds me of freshly fallen snow in winter. She reminds me of being 13/14 and meeting Jack for the first time. She reminds me of our old apartment, and her meth addiction. She reminds me of love, and backstabbing. She reminds me of true pain and the first time I felt betrayal. She reminds me of both of us finding out we were pregnant on the same day. She reminds me...what it means to be a bad mother, a bad person. I miss the hell out of her, but I can't be her friend.
     When I drive down the street and smell the Autumn air and feel Fall in my stomach, I remember the times we had together. Trick or treating, causing chaos around town. Having a blast. Just...everything was perfect. We were so young and just trying to find out place in this world together. She was half of my heart.