angela

forty two

"wait, where?" he was confused with my sudden movements. 

i leaned down, kissing his cheek. "i tell you later over the phone, i'm sorry, i have to do this." i was out of the restaurant in a matter of seconds, rushing to my car. i entered, starting it to drive to his place.

i felt desperate as i began to make my way to his house. my heart beating really fast, thinking that i was finally free from my biological father. of course, i was forever marked by him since that day, but he was in jail, for now, not being able to hurt anyone. not me, not my family, not david. he wasn't walking freely after what he did to me and to that other three women. god, if he even hurt other people in his life. i wouldn't know. i don't want to, actually. he influenced me too much for my liking. my therapist even told me that. i couldn't let him take away everything that made me happy. the past two months i used to heal, and i did, now i just needed him.

when i parked in his street, it hit me again. i was here, but i didn't even know what to say to him. 'hey, he's in jail, let's get back together' it's too much. 'i still like you and i missed you, please take me back'? 

i wanted to tell him how i truly felt, but i haven't really stopped to think about it, not even after what harrison told me. david was just... everything to me. not quite literally, but yeah, he was. he was the one thing that i really needed in my life, the key to unlock my true happiness. everyone knew how much he truly mattered to me, how much he changed my life in such a short period. he is the one that makes me laugh the hardest, the one that makes me swoon with just one look, the one that melts me entirely with his touch. he made me feel genuinely loved. i know ashton was a really important piece in my life, but it's in the past now. david is my present, and hopefully, my future too. 

i love him. i'm madly in love with david dobrik. 

it felt so good to admit that to myself. harrison was right, i knew at first, but admitting it? it's a whole different feeling.

taking a deep breath, i opened my car's door, hopping off to go to his front door. nat's car wasn't in the driveway, none of the familiar cars were in the street. he was alone, hopefully. i knocked on the glass door, shifting my weight from a leg to the other, nervously playing with my fingers, caressing the little 'd' on my middle finger. a habit that i recently discovered that i do without even noticing. 

he appeared, seeing me standing outside, his facial expression blank as he opened the door. "angie." he didn't sound surprised. 

"hi," i whispered.

he gave me space to enter. i didn't take my shoes off, thinking that it was weird for now. we needed to talk first. "is everything okay?"

i gulped, turning to look at him. "jeffrey was arrested." he frowned. "jeffrey, my biological father... he got arrested in pasadena." david nodded for me to continue, crossing his arms. "he killed three other women." 

david raised his eyebrows. "holy shit." 

"i know." i rocked back and forth on my heels. "after everything, i felt like i needed to tell you this." i looked down at my shoes. "i mean, we broke up because of him." i whispered.

david cleared his throat. "yeah, that changes a lot of things." i looked up, his blank expression still there. "but i'm not sure." 

"what do you mean?" he didn't answer at first, his eyes avoiding mine, staring at some random point from his living room. "david," i have to ask. i needed to. "do you still feel the same?" it has been only two months, but he was cold and distant, which scared the shit out of me. 

this time, he looked at me, his eyes glued to mine, as he spoke without any hesitation: "i don't think i do." david sighed like his chest felt heavy. "i mean, i have a lot going on right now, angie, so many stuff on my mind, i don't think it's gonna happen."