I would recommend playing Lullaby by Sia for this chapter.
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Macy.
"Macy! Come down for breakfast." My mom called from downstairs. I didn't respond. Maybe she will think I'm still sleeping.
"Macy Carrie Anne!"My mother called in her Motherly voice. I sighed and hid my face deeper in the covers. I heard stomps on the stairs and closed my eyes. The door squeaks open and I heard her gag but she entered anyway.
The foot of my bed sunk down and she sighed. "Macy." She shook my body. The liquids I had inside me shook and my face contorted in discomfort. She moved the covers off of me and gagged again. I laid there dead for a moment and got cold. I didn't open my eyes when I moved and grabbed them from the edge of my bed.
"Macy! Get out of bed and eat something!" She yelled once she realized I wasn't dead. "Macy don't you dare ignore me!" She moved the covers again only so I could grab them. Again.
"At least take a shower."
"Get out of bed."
"Open the curtains."
She went on about how I needed to move and do something but I ignored her and didn't move. I didn't speak or open my mouth.
I am well aware that I have been in bed in some type of depression for the past month but what am I supposed to do about it? I can't really do much when I feel horrible. Depression just swallows you up into a great big hole and doesn't want to spit you out until there is nothing left of you.
Everyone is like food to depression.
"Macy are you even listening!"
I ignored her again.
I heard the rings of the curtains grind against the medal rod keeping them up. Under my dark blanket, I could see some of the brightness shine through. I heard her footsteps walk away and I silently prayed that she was leaving my room.
The bathroom door outside my bedroom opened and I thanked the gods. I heard the water turn on and I rolled my eyes. She walked downstairs and I heard her ranting to my father then everything went quiet.
All of a sudden my body had been lifted from my bed and the blanket was left behind. I looked and saw my dad and noticed the bags under his eyes. Did my mother wake him?
Bitch.
He sat me on the corner of the half full tub that was filled with bubbles and water. I could see the steam evaporating from the top. He sat me up for a second and removed my bottoms. He pulled my top off and slowly put me in the tub.
My dad and I were close but he knew to stop at my bottom bottoms.
He pushed my body back and lit some candles. He tried to start some conversations but knew I wasn't going to talk. He even tried to get me to talk about Scott.
I missed Scott so much.
But I missed Kaplan so much more. Why wouldn't she talk to me? Why has she been avoiding my calls? Why won't she visit me? Why did she ignore me at school? Why can't I see her?
I didn't notice the tears in my eyes until my dad gave me a towel. I pulled my hand out of the tub long enough to wipe under my eyes.
"You miss him?" He asked, referring to Scott. I shook my head. "Your mother is listening in and if I say you know who then she will feel the need to call you know who." He says so quiet I had to lean in to hear.
I nod my head and he continues to speak about Kaplan as if she were Scott so my mother would back off.
"I miss him too. Haven't seen him in about a month now." I nod my head. More tears came out along with an uncontrollable silent sob.
"It's like he just forgot about us." He says and more tears came out. "Sorry. I'm really not making this better." But he was being honest.
Kaplan had forgotten about me and I didn't feel sad. I was just angry. I didn't have any real answers and I didn't know anything about why. She had just disappeared.
I know how to get her back and I don't care if it hurts her.
