NEON

62. Lego House

Marshall.

"Hey Mr. Ross," Matt, my assistant, dropped a box at my desk. On top of it was a chocolate bagel with what smelled like a French roast coffee.

"Yes Matt?" I said sweetly, hoping he got that coffee for me. It was 2 in the morning and I was reading small writing. I needed coffee.

"I got you what you wanted and some guy is here to talk to you. He said he killed somebody and doesn't feel right about it." I looked up and saw Askins standing there.

"Ha ha. Very funny." I stood up and pulled him by his wet hoodie and sat him down in front of me. "I'm working what do you want." I started trying to hide the piles of paperwork to on my desk so he couldn't figure out what I was working on and tell Kaplan.

"I got bored and since I'm in Seattle I have nothing else to do." He played with the cup Kaplan got me on my 35th birthday.

"Then go back to Washington. Cyrus is in Montrose safe and sound." I got chills on my arms but get looking at my paperwork.

"I guess." He shrugged. "What do you do for fun dad?" He asked, leaning his elbows on his thighs. I knows he is trying to irritate me but I have more important things to handle.

"Goodbye Askins. I am busy." The face of defeat he makes is better than any coffee could be.

He gets up and leaves like I want and I look at Matt and laughter creeps up my throat. I don't hold back. I end it with a soft high pitch moan and staple some files together.

"So what exactly are we doing boss?" He asks. I sit at my desk and organize the piles.

"My daughter deserves justice so I am going to represent her on the eighteenth of December and put the bastard that hurt her in jail." I look at the clock.

"Okay Matt you're free." He cheers and grabs his things. He wishes me luck and tells me goodnight. I respond to him the same way and repeat my actions of sorting through files trying to find some evidence that will justify Kaplan's case.

"Knock knock." I look up and see Kaplan. "Matt let me in." She smiles and for a moment all I see is just her head until she carries a tray in that has Marcel's official logo on it.

"Thought you might need it." She's wearing my Christmas pajamas that Hannah's mother got me the first Christmas I ever spent with that woman. Kaplan's hair was in the buns she usually puts them in before bed and she's wearing a headband to hold the baby hairs back. Her white slippers are off the floor and on top of the only clear part of my desk.

"What have you been working on lately? Keeping you at work forever." She stays in the feudal position, her face resting on her knees.

"I have been working on an upcoming case." I should probably tell her about it, actually. "Kaplan," I put my hand on her shoe.

"Yeah?" She asked so quietly and calmly. I didn't want to ruin it. She had always been so tense and always so blocked. Now she felt like a calm and gentle girl that was open for any conversation.

I didn't want to change that.

"Dad?" She tried to get my attention back. I looked at her again and saw that she had Crimson eyes and I finally noticed that she had been crying.

"Why were you crying?" I asked instead of telling her.

"Watching more home videos." She shrugged and held a small smile. "I didn't know you gave mom a ring every anniversary." She said staring at paperwork scattered on my desk.

"Yeah." I sighed and sat back in my chair. "Your mom cried a lot when I gave her presents and as twisted as it is, I loved it when she cried to her friends about me. Especially when she cried to Genevieve. I got to gloat and smile so wide when she came over." I smiled so big and Kaplan smiled too.

The way she smiled reminded me of the way she did when Askins got in trouble when they were little and she got to sit and watch me and Hannah yell at him. Even though it was very unacceptable, I missed those smiles. Both of them had it.

"So you spent money on mom just to gloat?" She asked still smiling. I leaned forward and rested my cheek on my wrist, still looking at Kaplan.

"No. I did it because hearing her talk about me, hearing how passionate she was about me, it made me feel the way I did when I was a teenager. Like the butterflies and the jumbled brain. My stomach dropped to my feet. My heart pounded out of my chest. It was so overwhelming to hear how much she loved me but she never once said the words, 'I love him'. I could just feel it. The way she described how I made her feel. Kaplan, I feel so happy just talking about her." I could feel tears coming out of my eyes.

"Booker made me feel that way." She says after a long, long silence. I look up at her and find that she is crying again.

"That's good. You have to open your heart up to him." She shakes her head lightly then harder. "Kaplan look at me." I pull her body on to my lap when she doesn't look up.

"You are not your mother." Her head meets my chin. "Even though you do run away from tough situations." I shrug and try to make her laugh a little. "You don't abandon things."

"I abandoned Cyrus." Her voice came out in small squeaks. "I left her in Montrose dad. If I didn't go with Booker that night she wouldn't even need to go to Montrose. Everybody just goes to Montrose." She cries harder as leans into my shoulder.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I asked softly.

"No more secrets." She cries and I agree with her.

"That's why I want to tell you." She stops sobbing and nods softly. I smile at the technicality and tell her. "I didn't go to Montrose."

She starts laughing and nudges me. Her head lifts up, still laughing and she groans. "That's not a secret." She nudges me again.

"But you laughed didn't you." I smile and she nods her head. She kisses my cheek and grabs a piece of paper from the desk.

"And I'm okay with it dad." She hands me the written statement I had of Kaplan's exact words- almost- or what she said to me the day of her assault with Jaxx.

"I want you to be happy." I say. Even though she said it's okay, I feel the need to defend myself for some reason.

"I am happy dad. Almost." She tells me she loves me, without hesitation and says goodnight. She leaves and I see her get inside her car and drive away.

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FEELS