Notes to Ashton.

Chapter 17

Ashton pov

Reading the note over and over I finally begin to realize that today could have been the last time that I saw her. Saw her beautiful face as she was glaring at me. Throwing the book across the room, knowing but not wanting to admit that I know I fucked up and lost my chance with even being close to her. I want to be. I want to be a choice she has when she needs someone. A choice when she needs help with something or just someone to joke around with. I know I lost my chance because now she is going to collage and we are slowly becoming a bigger and better band. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and thrown on the ground when I come to these conclusions. Getting up off the bed as going to my car i drove to Michael's house knowing he would be here for me.

**

"Why do you always come to me with this shit?" The boy with blue hair asked shoving a slice of cheese pizza in his mouth.

"Can you not deep throat the pizza while I'm here? I mean I knew you had a pizza kink but damn." I half growled half joked. Quickly biting a piece off, he lowered the pizza from his mouth and swallowed.

"I could happen to like deep throating my pizza so leave my kink alone." He smirked.

"Can you please just help me?" I whined and he put the pizza down.

"How much do you like her?"

"Just as much as you like pizza..." I whispered and his eyes widened.

"Holy shit man...your not kidding about this are you?" I shook my head looking at the floor.

"I wanna do something about it but when I see her I get a truck load of feelings that are a combination of anger and lust"

"Why anger?" He took a bite of the pizza, cheese dangling from his mouth as he chewed.

"Because when I see her I then remember that she's with Luke and I just..."

"You get jealous. Your jealous because Luke has what you can't have" Michael replied softly placing a hand on my shoulder. "All I have to say is since you can't be with her because Luke, in this case, is the hurdle that you just need to jump. Get close with her. Show her you care because I know you do or we wouldn't be sitting here right now with me giving you advice. And then when Luke and her break apart.. Then you might have a chance. Look Irwin, she obviously feels something for you or she wouldn't have wrote all those letters to you. Just be friends with her. Maybe that's all either if you can handle from each other right now you just don't notice it." He preached and I nodded.

Dropping the topic after that we continued the night by playing video games and 'deep throating' pizza.