Finder (Katsuki Bakugo X Shoto Todoroki X Reader)

Part 37

Crushed.
The gift he held in his trembling hand, dropping flat down to his unmoving feet.
Humiliation.

"... I'm sorry."
The words ringing like sirens. Constant headache fuel, leaving just as it entered his ears, losing it's meaning right from your lips.
A complete and utter fool.
But wasn't it to be expected? Why-deep down-is he so surprised? There was nothing at the end of his feelings, nothing to be returned. You didn't love him back. And that hurt very much. Shoving them down his twitching throat, the hot tears that threatened to fall into the world of Katsuki.
God, why did it have to hurt!
His strides were fast and angry, leading him out the airport in a flash. Down the street he sped through and to the train station, he held himself stiff as a board. Not a single tear was shed. And you were left in the exact same spot, standing in shame. Shoto watched the events unfold and looked down at your guilt stained face. You had finally realized.
"Are you ok, (y/n)?"
He reached down to grab your hand, to which you didn't bother shaking away. And to the following words, you subtly shook your head while it remained lowered.
'As I expected' he thought. "Let's get our bags and go home."
"Mhm."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hey bro, you home yet?
How'd it go? Did you see her?
Don't leave me hanging bro!!
... I'm sorry bro. Hang in there.

What was to be said? The gentle yet aggressive sobs that echoed in his room spoke for himself.
Crying.
Over a brat like you.
The Katsuki from months ago would've called it a waste of tears. As the present Katsuki could feel the inevitable hot tears stream from his closed eyes, covered by his hand, he couldn't do anything but let them trickle down his cheek.
He sat up at the end of his bed, letting himself burst. He wasn't a hysterical cryer, he wasn't whining or yelling. But a few hiccups and sniffles were all that he heard, making him very aware of his breaking heart. You were all that he could think about. The canvas was painted, dried, unchanged. It left it's picture, it was permanent. Your face was painted into his mind, but your arm linked with Shoto's, and Katsuki was nowhere in sight. Why didn't you just text him? Why couldn't you just think of him? Think of his feelings? Why couldn't you at least consider him?
He finally got his answer, it wasn't loud but indeed clear. However, such an answer couldn't possibly leave him satisfied. On the contrary, it left him with even more questions than when he started. It left him wanting more. And every second, his heart cried "why".
But he knew why.
In the end, you chose Shoto. Your best friend. The obvious choice. If you thought he was deserving of your love, then wasn't it so? Katsuki barely was any competition. Just a level 1 crook against a level 80 god.
As he got up from his bed and switched on his bathroom light, to which it illuminated the the rest of his dark room, the water he drenched his face in was extra cold. And looking at the glossy yet empty eyes in his reflection, he whispered 'fuck' under his breath. Tommorow was school, and you were most likely going to be there.

------------------------------------------

The welcome home was nice, yes, but in your state, you were in absolutely no mood to celebrate anything. Flopping onto your bed after tossing your bags to the other side of the world, you sigh in exhaust - and in distress. You had no idea Katsuki would meet you at the airport right when you had arrived, it was totally random and unplanned. Among the many texts he had sent during your trip, a warning wasn't one of them, you were sure of it. 'But what's done is done' is what you said on your way home. What you couldn't admit, however, was the voice in your head that whispered 'let him be'. How could you?
Shoto was there with you, in the past to the present. He knew you, head to toe with all your emotions in between. He was strong, he would never hurt you, he was your protector. And yet the unshakable guilt still nipped at your heart, begging to get acknowledged.
Acknowledge me, acknowledge me!

Acknowledge Katsuki.

You huffed in frustration, rising up from your bed and walked to your bags. Beside them was Katsuki's gift that he held in his hand. You grabbed it, holding it close and the contents inside remained a mystery. You just stared at it silently, waiting for the bag to say something.

'...If I feel this much guilt, I probably really did do something wrong.'

If you had a chance to speak with him at school, to redeem your measly "I'm sorry", then you would willingly take it and make things right. To properly apologize without Shoto there to protest, and tell him how you truly do appreciate him.

'And what of his feelings?'

You jerked your head up at the thought, and suddenly it wasn't so easy anymore.

'You fool. Talking to him? Making things right? It'd be easier to ignore him entirely.'

Your eyes squint into a scowl at your own words, contradicting yourself with every possible statement. Until it came with a harsh conclusion.
You really are a fool. There were no loopholes in this situation and you were left with two choices, along with a splitting headache. To take what was offered and leave your relationship for the development to dissolve away. To leave Katsuki alone. Or, when the opportunity arises, to talk to him, let him down gently, pray to god you two can still stay friends.
You nuzzled the bag closer to your chest and sighed away as your head pounded objections to both solutions. As the air escaped your lungs, your mind was clear, and there was a moment of peace. You were able to relax.

"We'll see what happens tommorow."
You stood up from the floor to relieve your cramped legs and numb bottom. Bringing the bag with you to your bed, sudden curiosity loomed over yourself as you eyed the small decorated contraption. What was inside it?
He did get it for you, didn't he? Surely you were allowed to open your own gift. Giving into your temptation, you took out a lengthy, delicately decorated box. Inside it was a bright red rose(no bigger than your pinky) necklace with a gold chain. It was a fragile piece, cute if not gaudy, and you held it with care.

'It's adorable...thank you, katsuki.'

(A/n)
Please let me know if there were any spelling mistakes!!!