finding you

fifty one

I'm about to hang up when he answers.

"Hello?" His voice is rough sounding. It's quiet wherever he is. Nothing like where I am. It must be loud on his end. 

Oh. I haven't said anything yet. Should I? Or should I just hang up. "Oh... hi, who is this?"

The one thing I manage to have not learned yet in my long 20 years of life, is how to competently speak with the opposite sex. This is a prime example of that. Okay, so I'm drunk. There's that. But even drunk, it's still me. Still Theo.

The sound of low laughter fills the phone and I feel my insides heat. "Theo, where are you?" He asks after a couple of beats of silence.

"I'm... with people. Rhys?"

"Yes, Theo. It's Rhys. Did you mean to call me?" 

"I-I..." Yes, I meant to call you Rhys. This is my first drunk call. I don't know what I'm doing here.

"I know you've been drinking. Are you okay, though? Did you have too much?"

Why does he sound so parent-like with me? Or is that just in my head? "Now you s-sound like you're the one trying to parent me!" 

It felt like a funny thing to say. I mean, when he was drunk last time he was accusing me of being his mom. Now it's me accusing him of acting like a dad! I burst out laughing at my own joke and I have to calm myself down.

I don't hear anything on the other end for a moment and I literally check my screen to see if he hung up. 

"Theo... how about we discontinue this calling each other mom and dad."

I laugh again at him but he doesn't laugh with me. Why doesn't he laugh?

"Rhys, why don't you like me? I like you. You don't like me. I wish you would like me."

I hear a sigh on the other end. "Theo, you know I like you. Okay? Now, why don't we have more of a talk about it when you're sober?"

"But I want to talk about it now! Rhys, you didn't even text me today. You didn't want to spend time with me." I sound like a pathetic girlfriend right now but I don't care.

"I was giving you space," he says after a moment.

"Rhys, I know I may seem like I want space. Sometimes I do, but most of the time I want you in my space. Okay? Because sometimes I want to dance with someone. And I'd rather dance with you than Kayden. But he's fun- "

"You're at the club with Kayden." He sounds stoic and hard. I didn't necessarily mean to put Kayden's name in there. It just kind of slipped out.

"Yeah. I didn't come here with him, no. He was just here. But it's okay, he's being super nice to me and buying me lots of shots!" There's nothing but silence on the phone for a few seconds. "Hello?"

"Theo, I don't want to parent you, but you make it hard when you say shit like that to me."

"Wha- "

"Theo, go find Ronnie and dance with her for a bit. Stay with her and for God's sake keep your hands off of Kayden. Do you want me to come to you?"

I say nothing. I'm smiling so big right now I think I'm stuck like this. 

"Theo!"

"Fine by me, Collins."

"Baby... don't call me Collins like you're one of the guys at my dad's company."

I snicker in response before saying, "hurry," and clicking off. A moment of extreme butterflies fill my stomach at his use of 'baby.' I exit the bathroom stall with a huge grin plastered on my face. It takes me a moment to come back to reality. "Ronnie?"