finding you

sixteen

I get home later that day and immediately go to my room to curl up in bed. I smother my face in my tens of pillows and allow myself to think back on yesterday's events. A giddy feeling rises up in my belly when I think about me and Rhys. 

Why am I acting so weird?

What is wrong with me?

A small part of me thinks that the reason I am so giddy when I think about him is because I like him. I try my best to immediately shut down that thought. I am not having a crush on this boy. Nope.

I can't like him. No way. Can I?

He's always been so awful... well, not that he did anything awful to me except ignore me for my whole life.

He's not the same guy from high school, Theo.

But he is. He was just with Brooke a few weeks ago, anyways. Not that I should judge him for that... but still. 

Ugh! What is happening? I am just thinking way too much into this. Yup. I am still coming down from yesterday. I haven't had anything exciting like that for a long time and that's all this is.

Plus... I'm probably never even going to see Rhys again.

My heart starts to sink at the thought, surprising me. I flip over to myside, allowing oxygen into my lungs. My eyelids are heavy and I want to nap, but I don't want to lose any of the day. As much fun as yesterday was, it has clearly exhausted me.

But I wouldn't change it for anything.

I'm about to rest my eyes for a bit when my phone buzzes a text. I almost don't check it and let sleep claim me, but I end up picking it up off the floor to read it. I click open the text to see that it's from an unknown number. 

Unknown: So how are you feeling?

I stare at the words for a moment in confusion. Who is this? Okay, so this can't be Ashton because I have his number.

I begin to type a response asking who I'm talking to when I suddenly stop. Oh boy, this has to be either Nial or Rhys. 

I think my heart explodes. Nervous jitters overwhelm me at the thought of me actually texting Rhys Collins.

How do I respond? Do I play it like I have no clue who it is?

Ugh, I hate that I'm stressing over this. I hate it more that I'm stressing over how I sound to a boy I like over text.

Wait.

I don't like him. I don't like him.

What if it's not even him? 

Okay, but who else would it be?

Slowly and awkwardly, I type out my reply.

Me: Is this Nial?

I hit send before internally cringing at myself. I didn't even send an emoji or anything. I sound rude. 

I think I wanted to sound somewhat like I would expect Nial to text me over Rhys... but honestly, it just sounds so dumb now that I think about it.

A whole minute goes by without anything and the sinking feeling in my stomach increases. 

This is dumb. So dumb, Theo.

My phone goes off and I jump. 

Unknown number: Nope.

Oh my gosh, that sounded more cold than my text! You're already ruining this, Theo.