finding you

four

I find myself walking straight towards the fire. The damned dead center of this party.

I am not sure what I'm doing, I just know I need to keep walking. I need to find a drink. I hate alcohol, but I always feel like I need it when I'm in this kind of setting.

"Hey," a voice startles me, causing me to spin around. A guy I have never seen before gives me a suggesting smile, casually looking me up and down. Gross.

He looks a bit older than me but still young enough to be socially accepted at a party like this. Dark hair sweeps above his eyes and the sides of his hair are short. He looks like the type of guy who would be in Rhys Collins's group—but way more sleazy and less attractive. I suppose he's not completely unfortunate looking, though. I decide to acknowledge him because I really don't want to go back to Ronnie yet.

"Hi..." I say. I am immediately unsure of this. I already get a weird feeling, but I try shaking it off because I always get nervous around guys. I don't know how to talk to them—let alone flirt. Tonight, I want to be somebody else. Tonight, I want to be someone daring. "Do you know where I could get myself a drink?"

He smiles. "Sure thing." He motions for me to follow, and I do. I will figure out a plan to leave this guy once I get my drink... and possibly after few gulps in my system.

He takes me through a few crowds and leads me over to a truck hidden by some trees. He starts banging on the door and after a few moments, it swings open. A guy who is about the same age but with longer, darker hair, looks down at us. They look like they would be friends.

"What the fuck, Daren?" the dark-haired one says. We clearly intruded on something.

I step a little closer so I can see a little more inside the truck. Oh. We most definitely intruded. A girl with long blonde hair peers around from the back seat. Her hair is a total mess with half of it covering her face. She looks like we caught her in the middle of... an act. I feel rather uncomfortable right now.

"What is it?" she slurs to her boyfriend—whoever he is—and shoots him an irritated look. She doesn't look impressed.

"Get back," the guy says fast, pushing the girl to the backseat. He seems like an asshole. I don't like these people at all. I really want to get back to the fire now.

"Pass the mickey," the guy who took me here—Daren—says to his friend.

I awkwardly step back so I am somewhat out of view. I don't want them to notice me even though I'm pretty sure they already did. This is so awkward. I should just try and slip away.

"What--"

"Fuck, Jared!"

"Ohhh," Jared slurs, taking me into his view.

I try and rid of all of the bad feelings I have right now but it's hard. I want to get away from these people but I also don't want to be boring. It's just my anxiety from being here—not anything else. I just need to ignore it and drink up. I awkwardly stand beside Daren while he impatiently waits for his friend to locate the alcohol.

"It's fine... I think I'll just—" I start to say but am cut off by Jared throwing a plastic bottle at Daren. I think my voice went unheard because I'm pretty sure I was whispering.

"Ass. I'll see you tomorrow wherever you end up, ha," Daren jokes and picks the bottle up from the ground, slamming the truck door.

I immediately get shivers up my spine when I feel Daren place his hand on the small of my back. I don't like this. He begins leading me away from the truck. I try to getting out of my head. I always create issues out of nothing. Everything seems like a red flag to me. Daren seems... non murder-ish—for the most part—and I need a drink. If I can muster up enough small talk with him and get a few sips in me, then maybe I can gain the courage to go talk to some old high school pals.